Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Week 52

One, I feel fat. I am bigger, heavier, I believe, than I was going into this week. In fact, I'm sure. The resolve is still there, but the effort has been lagging. I've not been feeling tip-top, emotionally or physically, thus, maintaining disciplined consistency has been difficult, to say the least.

Good thing. This week is a throw-away. It exists for one purpose and one purpose only. To look. Looking back on the year that was and looking ahead to the year to come. No serious work is attempted, let alone accomploshed. Some companies are closed. Those not closed are most likely, half-staffed. I scheduled myself for half-days this week. I will be leaving the office by 12:30 each of the remaining days this week. To do what? The hope is to get some work done towards some long over-due projects, but-looking will be in the equation, I am sure.

This past year has been full of good, some of which has been documented here. Mostly, I've used this place to explore. Explore feelings I have about my past. Explore emotions concerning my present. Explore prospects for the kind of future I'm endeavoring to build. There is a woman out there for me. Yes? Perhaps. Yes!

Working in progress.

Two, beets. You may recall what I had to say on the subject. I had every intention of moving forwad and finding my way to a beet dish. I haven't, at least, not intentionally. I found out today that one of the desserts at the potluck on Thursday, provided by the sig other of one of the office guys, contained beets. If was a chocolate cake. The cake was good on Thursday. Today, now that I know about the beets? Yuck!

Three, cycles. To paraphrase a JFK quote, a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma. Cycles. For many months I've been slogging through a variety of peri-menopausal symptoms. Now, apparently, a cycle has twisted and I find myself in the throes of that drive..and no place for it to land. Watching videos, reading books and...ahem...and.

Finally, a cold. This cold has settled in my eyes. I am clearing phlegm from my eyes, often. This phlegm is affecting no only the mood, but, more importatntly, the eyesight, which, as my may remember, bothers me, to a great degree.

Week 52 is about looking. It would be nice, much nicer, if I could see, better.

13 comments:

  1. good freakin gawd woman! are you tryin to give me a heart attack! thank the baby jesus for ambien....

    hahahahaha!


    okay okay seriously, I admit that I don't enjoy "buffy and heathers" goin at it... imo, if there are two femmes in the room there is one too many femmes.... any whoooo... we all know I'm prissy...for heck sake even my build a bear is a butch. BUT (in my experience there is always a big butt in there somewhere) I will cop to reading 2 of the books you listed... heh... and anyone who doesn't cop to the third thing is lyin'!

    neener

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  2. oh oh oh!

    I got so side tracked with my one track mind I forgot to tell you that I hope you feel better!

    *blush*

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  3. It's okay Deborah. I KNOW how hard it is to try to loose weight, it DOES take a LOT of time & focus. In the end this is all part of the (fucking!) journey.

    Rest & get well!

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  4. {{{{TOD}}}}

    Thanks for the vids. ;)

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  5. So let me offer perspective...in three days, it will be week one.

    xo

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  6. I agree with Maxine...it'll be week one in a few days.

    :)

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  7. I am totally baffled at what you are curious about and looking for. I look forward to you telling me whattsup, cause I can't figure it out........

    PS Dogs rule.

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  8. Hey - I think perimenopause sucks ass.

    That is all.

    Wait, no it's not. Here's wishing that 2007 clears the cold from your eyes, the weight from your body, the gray from your mood, and the empty space from your bed.

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  9. Hey, lesbian porn! You ARE embracing this newer facet of your life! *giggle*

    Looking back, looking forward, looking at porn... all are good. Looking at the mirror? Well, that's what Week 1 is for.

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  10. Oh good, I needed some new reading material. LOL

    There's one more thing this week is for... just to enjoy life, or at least a really good sale!

    Happy New Year!

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  11. I came here yesterday but after seeing your video's, I had to lay down for a bit ;-)

    Kisses chippy chick
    XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

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  12. Losing weight is just plain sucky! Having a cold ranks pretty high up there with losing weight. Only it's a shorter time span. I hope. For your sake.

    Now about that video....Thanks. I have to go to bed now. To sleep. So I can get up for work. Damn it.

    and those books....nope, haven't read those yet, but they're on my list....

    and....

    I didn't know it was called "ahem." Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?

    *grin*

    Hope you feel better soon, take gentle care.

    Cate

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  13. Who wants a stick-insect to hug anyway?? Be healthy, sure... but remember round and curvy is PERFECT ;-)
    Hope you feel better soon with your cold &c.

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