Mom: I’ve been thinking about what to get Michael for his birthday. What are you getting him?
Me: I got him the photo shoot. I will take him out to eat, he hasn’t said yet, where he’d like to go and I will get him some dvds, probably "Fraiser" seasons 1 and 2.
Mom: Well, I’ve been thinking about a gift card.
Me. That would work
Me: Borders. He loves Borders. He could get a book, a new journal, some music, a dvd and /or have several cups of tea, while
Mom: hmm. I’ve been thinking about clothes.
Me: No. Don’t buy him clothes. I don’t get him clothes anymore, unless he’s there to try them on. I got him some shirts recently, the sleeves were too short. He's either still growing or the sizes wre wrong or something.
Mom: No, I was thinking a card from a store that sells clothes.
Me: Oh, well, I’d go with JCPenny. He like’s their stuff, the accessories anyway, monogrammed hankies or gold toe socks. He could use a gift card from JCPennney, but I’d go with Borders.
Mom: hmm. I’ve been thinking cologne, or those African oils. I don’t know where he got them.
Me: He doesn’t wear cologne and he got the oils from Afri-Ware, but he hasn’t been there in awhile He didn’t even know they had moved. He doesn’t wear the oils anymore..he says every ‘brother’ smells like those oils. He just smells like soap to me. He’s really into Irish Spring these days. I still think Borders is the best bet.
Mom: hmm. Well, what about Old Navy? Does he go to Old Navy?
Me: Uhm, No. He doesn’t go to Old Navy. He doesn’t wear anything...MOM: I bought him that sweater...Me: except for that sweater you bought him, from Old Navy. I think Borders is the way to go.
Mom: Well, I just don’t know.
Me: Really. Seriously, mom, a gift card from Border’s is the perfect choice.
Mom: Well...I guess. Hey! Your cousin is retiring.
It should be noted that I have many, many cousins. Quite a few could fit into the ‘your cousin is retiring’ scenario. I play along, volley up a couple of possibles before she reveals that K D the III is the cousin retiring. He was going to be my next guess, really.