Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Chiquita called. She should not have gotten through, my screeners need some re-training as they are supposed to nip callers like Chiquita in the bud—but she slipped through. Chiquita calls and wanting to confirm she’s speaking with the right person she asks, “Is this Deborah _________?” Chiquita totally mangled my last name. Cringe.
Chiquita is from Wells Farto Fargo and she is calling me to try to sell me on the idea of allowing Wells F into my beeswax under the guise of helping me with my finances. I’m at work and I really don’t have the time to deal with Chiquita, but I listen for a bit-needing the diversion. Chiquita asks questions which I answer with questions of my own. I’m toying with Chiquita because it’s fun.
After several moments of some give and no take, I put an end to Chiquita’s spiel by telling her in a very clear and definitive voice not to call again, that I’m not interested in doing business with Wells Fargo and more importantly I’m not at all interested in doing business with her. Not that I was ever interested in Wells Farto or Chiquita. You see Chiquita had blown her opportunity at the very beginning of the call for not only did she mangle my last name she had tried for warm, friendly and familiar by calling mesweetheart as in, “I want to talk with you about how we can help you, sweetheart.”
I told Chiquita that as she didn’t know me she should squash the sweetheart talk. To her credit she recovered well, but I was lost to her. I think she knew it, but she had a job to do and I had a diversionary road to travel.
It was a fun trip.


  1. We signed up to receive no more telemarketing calls, but once in a while one sneaks in.

    I always do the same thing, try to freak them out. Once, I told a woman that I could not get siding on my house because the dinosaur that lived in my back yard would just eat it off for a snack.

    I think their job must get boring and it is up to us to provide them with comic relief.

  2. Hahahaha

    You gotta take those daily diversions where you can...and a stranger on the phone calling you 'sweetheart' is fair game.

    I will often get the 'Hiya Trish! How's it goin'?' from telemarketers like I'm on a game show.

  3. I like to answer incorrectly. LIke, REALLY incorrectly. WIth sometimes some extra background screaming from the kids, just for fun. Yay for diversions!

  4. The sweetheart that didn't work on you will work on some other sweetheart. She's just doing her job. Can you imagine how bad it would suck to do that for a living? Blech.

  5. I can imagine. Actually, for awhile, I was a Chiquita..part-time anyway. And yes, very much..blech.

  6. you were far more patient with her than I woulda been.

  7. Is Chiquita one of the folks who called you "snappish," as noted in your subsequent post? : )


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