Sunday, June 24, 2012

Fourth Sunday in June

 So, here it is . . . and thus begins her email that effectively spells the end of US as a couple.

I wasn't blindsided, not totally. I felt it (or something akin) was brewing. There were signs. Prior to the email last week there were periods of silences, missed opportunities to get together, other changes to what had become our routine for weeks prior. Understandable. given her very busy schedule. But, still . . .  


Being compatible. Being companionable. Having fun. Enjoying one another on a variety of levels. Being happy. Beginning to fall . . .   None individually or collectively necessarily spell success in hammering out a relationship. There can be and certainly were in our case mitigating circumstances.


Though I felt it coming,  had time to prepare for the shoe to drop, the reality hit hard and rendered momentarily stunned and incredibly sad.  She made it clear she didn't come to this decision lightly, it wasn't something she relished doing. She'd hoped (as did I) for a different outcome. 

But now is simply (well, nothing simple about it) not the time. 

It has been a week and the time has quelled most of the emotions. There was no acrimony, no hard feelings. We remain in touch and connected through FB. I wish her the greatest of success in her business and life, as she does for me. I feel honored to have met her and grateful for the time we shared. I hope there is  an opportunity to chew the philosophical fat with her somewhere down the road for she truly is . . . well, in a word, awesome.   


Meanwhile however, I am single and while not in love with said state of affairs, the intent is to embrace my favorite season. Further, the intent is to mitigate the work stresses with more focused determination toward my passions.  There is a 5K in the not too distant future calling my name. I will likely walk the course but am not dismissing  the possibility of running. The knees will decide. I may even post more frequently, though no promises, as I explore further explorations. The intent is to continue, to adopt daughter's vernacular, "doing me" which is to say, looking out for my family, honoring and cultivating my friendships, and caring for my own well being the best way possible.

But first, breakfast (omelette, preferably spinach and feta but most any will do) and then, laundry. It is Sunday after all.

**and note to my very supportive friends (you know who you are) ya'll rock hard** love you ladies. :-)


  1. okay so i know this sounds a bit over dramatic but i am crying as if this happened to me instead. i want so badly that one thing, i want so badly for you to have that one thing. i am sorry and i think i need to retreat to the kleenex box. (((HUGS)))


  2. I'm a year down the road, but I so understand.

    Here's to celebrating summer and self ... I'm trying focusing on my passions too & getting there!

  3. Damn. I wrote this once & it didn't appear here. I shall try to remember what I said.
    When I 1st heard this news I was pissed. How COULD she, like what was HER problem??? But now I feel obviously, she just ain't THE ONE.
    Of course I would still like to go to ORD & punch her stupid face off, but violence is so uncool. So I shall just pray for you both. Well, moreso for you. That God Goddess Universe will send you the perfect ANGEL LOVE soon. And that you may have the patience to wait & the strength to continue doing wonderful YOU. (((hugs)))

  4. @Nina, I understand. Take gentle care, I will. ♥

    @ Em Cheers to you and yes, here's to celebration of summer and self.

    @ Kmae I appreciate your passion but no, she isn't to blame and didn't set out to hurt me. Thank you for good thoughts and hugs.

    ♥ ♥ ♥

  5. Oh Hell! I'm so sorry to read that. It felt so hopeful for a while there... but, like KMae said, she must not have been the one!

    Ok, I don't actually believe that there is a 'one'... but she clearly wasn't the right one, right now.

    I love your focus, though. I love that you are going to 'do you' all summer. I'm going to think of you while I am riding my bike, cuz I know you like to ride too!
    Hang in there...

  6. @ e yes, it did. Yes, again, I think we just missed (or hadn't yet met) our window.

    And any rate, thanks for thinking of me. I'm going to ride (& walk & perhaps run) as often as time and knees allow. :-)

  7. I kind of felt his one coming. There was no sense of the...exuberance that I felt from you the first time that you slid into love. I got the strong feeling that this was more of an intellectual union than one of passion.

    But hurts.

    And you know what? I can just feel it in the air. The next one is the charm. The third is always the charm.

  8. A few weeks late, still here to say *crap.* Damn. Time to stretch out those limbs of flesh and mind, reach out to Summer and regroup. Couldn't hurt, I suppose.

  9. Hugs to you. I don't do those lightly. But it's the only thing that seems appropriate. You rock.

  10. @Maria: I felt exuberance. But . . . well, something. And yes, still, it hurts. And...we'll see. :-)

    @tiff. Yep. Nope, it couldn't. Now, if the heat will dial it back a tad, I can BE outside (more). :-)

    @MHRN: Many thanks, my friend. You're quite the inspiration. :-)

    ♥ ♥ ♥


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