Friday, April 05, 2013

I Can Feel You Breathe

. . . grief pushes all emotions to the surface and leaves you helpless to their whims.*

The only good thing (if there IS such a thing) about being in the throes of grieving is that my head is too waddle bummed to be front and center with current events. While I can appreciate the import of this time in OUR (marriage equality / courting supremely) lives, I just can't participate, can't even get excited, not really.  Though trying, really. 



  

Beyond the grief, there is the realization that I have to find another job. I cannot continue to work they have I have been working for the past several years. Enough is enough. Resolved, but still . . . 

daunting 

*Wendy Hornsby 

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:09 PM

    Kel AKA the mad hatter

    Deb, deb omg my darling I'm so so sorry for your loss ... My heart is with you and I actually have tears in my eyes cos I really do feel your pain ... thoughts and prayers are with you my friend ... sending a massive hug xXx

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  2. Oh Deb. I know. It's so hard. It's such a journey of acceptance. Such a hard, heartbroken journey. I feel you, I really do.

    My mom died a year and a half ago and it feels fresh to me. It still feels unbelievable. I still miss her so keenly.

    What do we have left? Our memories, our angst. Our love. Our unresolved issues. But mostly love...

    If you ever need an ear (or an eyeball) you can call on me...

    xoxoxo

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  3. Debra, I think about you nearly every day and I hope that through the grief, that you know you are a good daughter. You honored your mother and your responsibilities to her and she ultimately knew it. I feel like grief helps with the healing.

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  4. I have thought of you often since your mom told you she was ill. Time. Nothing less than time will let you move forward. And, I look forward with relish to the direction you will take to get to where you want to be.

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  5. @ Kel: I know you know. I thank you for taking the time to stop by and leave the kind and gracious words.

    @ e: Yes. And thank you so very much

    @ Madame: I was just thinking today that yes, she did know and that is a comfort. Thank you.

    @ Lori: Time yes. Some days I feel I have none left and some days there is just too much of it. I'm excited and frightened but ready to explore.

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  7. One foot in front of the other. I tell myself that every day. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. It doesn't help that you are unhappy in your job, though. Maybe you could sort of furtively look before you leap?

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  8. Thinking of you and hope for the best for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete