Monday, February 20, 2017

Remembrance and Loss


"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it. you just slowly learn how to go on without them. But always keeping them tucked safely in your heart."   I don't remember where I read this quote, I wrote it on a random piece of paper some months ago. I marked it author unknown and promptly stuck it in a book where it stayed until Friday while looking for some other random thing written or sketched.  Ironically , one day before the anniversary of my mother's death.


Turns out that day was also the day my orange boy, Buttah died. I haven't talked about it much, but Buttah has been sick. The sickness came on rather suddenly and progressed rapidly.  At first it seemed like something that would pass, he was acting a little differently but was otherwise, fine--all the markers, marked. Until the last few days. He didn't appear to be in any distress caused by pain. He leaned in to all our touches and ministrations. We made him as comfortable as we could in his final days and on Friday, he went to sleep. Quietly. 

The parallels are striking. My head and heart are in a swirl.

 
Pair Buttah's demise with remembering mom with receiving communication from an attorney regarding a pending case related to my dad and his death,  totally out of the blue, all within the same days, and well. . . loss and remembrance, remembrance and loss, like a never ending loop.




The hours, minutes, seconds of the last several days have been consumed with thoughts of mom and dad; tucked safely in a heart now cracked open needing to make room for my dear orange guy. Loss and remembrance. Remembrance and loss. Running in a loop. 

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16 comments:

  1. Remembrance and loss is as much a part of our lives. Takes a while to figure it out fully.

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  2. Oh, I am so sorry for so much loss, so much remembrance of loss, all around the same timeframe. For the memories of your mom and your dad, and the loss of your sweet cat. Thinking of you.

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  3. Oh, D, what a tough time. Any one of those three things would be enough to bring you down, but all of them together is a whole lot of loss and remembrance.

    I'm sending you love and strength through the ether, friend.

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    1. Thank you. I am feeling the love and it helps.

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  4. Oh hon, I am so sorry about Buttah. And sending so many hugs as you mourn your parents.

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  5. I'm also very sorry you lost Buttah - it's never easy to say good-bye to anyone who plays an important part in our lives. And for it to happen right when you're remembering your parents too, is so hard.

    That's a lovely quote, and I hope will give you comfort in time. But I know right now you don't want Buttah in your heart, but on your lap, so I send you hugs.

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    1. You are right. And, thank you.

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  6. So much to remember and all at once. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. I appreciate that. Thank you.

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  7. Hugs! That's a beautiful quote and I pray it gives you some comfort.

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    1. It is. It does. Thank you for the hugs.

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  8. Such a lovely quote. So sorry to hear of the compounded feelings of loss and loss remembered. May you find someone or something to uplift you.

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