We worked together a few years ago. He’s tall, thin and very hairy. The kind of hairy that had the fine, long hairs-which I presume-covered his chest, find their way outside the boundary of whatever shirt he was wearing, to tickle at his neck.
He plays guitar. His fingers, long and nimble worked the strings with skill and finesse.
Banana boy, so named because he came back from lunch with a banana, nearly every day. Many days he came back with two. He would give me one. He had a crush on me, did banana boy. I liked him as a person and I appreciated his musical prowess, nothing more.
He would email me, professing his attraction and wish that we could get together. Emails to my office address, during off hours were his preferred method of communicating his feelings. I would sometimes find him watching me. The emails, looks and the gifts of fruit were all that passed from him to me.
Banana resigned from the company 2 years ago. He continued to email me until a computer upgrade forced a change to the office email addresses. Banana did maintain a relationship with a couple of the other guys in the office. I would hear that he had called, one or more would pass along a *hello* to me from him. He never called me directly.
Two weeks ago, a call was transferred to me. The caller hung up when I answered. After a little questioning of the staff, I discovered the caller was Banana Boy. Since then, I’ve been treated a a few hang-ups and even some heavy breathing sessions.
Monday morning I check my voice mail and Banana Boy’s voice rings out. “Hey gay wad, call me!! My number is xxx xxx xxxx!!! Gay wad? I replayed the message four times to be sure I heard what I thought I heard and sure enough that’s what he said. The message was extremely terse.
I’d never told Banana of my interest and desire for women, even while he was professing an interest in me. I hadn’t professed it to myself, at that point. My preferences however, were beside the point. I wasn’t interested in him. His age (14 years my junior) and our working status (I was his boss) being the prime reasons that I gave. There were others, obviously, but I thought these were enough. I expressed these often during his wooing and tried to gently discourage him from continuing his campaign.
He’s discovered, apparently, my preferences. While not out at work, I don’t go out of my way to shroud (workplace acceptable) reading materials I might have on, around my desk. I don't share office space and periodically my personal items might be out and about. I don’t shout it out, but it’s not hiding under a rug either. No one has asked, point blank, but it wouldn’t take much to be led to certain conclusions.
One or more of my co-workers, outed me to Banana Boy. Given the hang-ups, heavy breathing sessions and the message he left on a Saturday, leads me to believe that he doesn’t want to talk about it or to me. I called him back anyway. He didn’t answer, I left a message.
He hasn’t returned my call, yet. I don’t really think he will, but if he does, I'll talk.
That's more than a little freaky. Gay wad? WTF does that mean?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he wants to come out to you, now that he knows. Any man that into bananas may have a secret or two of his own!
OMG...he sounds scary.
ReplyDeleteLOL at Words...what about women being into bananas?
What a nutcase! Or should I say banana nut case?
ReplyDeleteAnd what the hell does "gay wad" mean? I would think it should be "lesbian wad" at least.
Ok, but what did you say on your message? Updates (if there are any) please!
ReplyDeleteWow that does sound truly bizarre...a bit confrontational too.....gay wad???
ReplyDeleteWow.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a bad case of anger over unrequited puppy love. Bad enough in a teenager, really bad in an adult who clearly has communication issues.
I won't even speak to the "Mrs Robinson" issue.
CooCoo Ka-choo!
GF
My skin is crawling. What an immature cretin.
ReplyDeletePlease tell me you were not civil to him in your message.
Hugs,
Cate
I would not have called him back.
ReplyDeleteEver.
GF is right. He is mighty pissed & is looking for a fight.
Be careful & watch your gaywad back.
Meanwhile back at the job, stay cool.
This is one reason I tell everyone I meet I'm gay, so that those who gossip behind my back are spreading OLD news & people already know. But this is just my way, I do not say others should do this...
Spiggling @ Wordsrock! :)
ReplyDeleteGF diagnosed it accurately. What a dick wad! I'm curious to know what you said.
I hope you told him not to call you anymore - this guy sounds like a wack job.
ReplyDeleteI think he is either gay or rather embarrassed....
ReplyDeleteOMG that is outrageous! Gaywad?? What the hell is that? What on Earth was this bloke thinking of? Did he reckon you wouldn't know it was him ringing your voicemail? I would copy that message and out HIS abusive, bullying, loser arse.
ReplyDelete