He Did What!?!

My son loves to dance. He also loves live music. Quite often you might find

him twisting and shouting in one of the city's fine blues clubs. He was in one such establishment when he was treated rather rudely. He tells the story in his trademark nonchalant and humorous manner. I believe he adopts this method, especially when telling me such stories, so as to not bear witness to my head being flung from the rest of my body, thus forcing him to clean the mess that might be caused. Although, the event, I'm sure, would at some point, become a star in his repertoire of tales.

I am paraphrasing his tale of the Hoochie Coochie man incident.

Lacy and Tammy were visiting from from Minnesota. They met dancing man M at the blues club. Dancing Man, decked out in his usual suit, tie, hat (although not while inside the club) and cane is a vision, quite like no other in the club. The ladies are drawn to him like moths to a flame, flies to butter, D to shoes, you get the picture. The three of them proceeded to have a grand old time, talking, laughing and of course, dancing the night away.

It was edging towards final call and the trio was saying their good-byes. Hoochie Coochie man foisted his way into the scene, smashing into their space. Never one to pass up an opportunity to annoy impress women, he barked out a "HEY! I'M HOOCHIE COOCHIE man!" The ladies, startled by his insistent intrusion managed to mumble a soft hello. The ever polite, gentlemanly, M, offered his own greeting, addressing H C man by his given name. Hoochie Coochie responded to M's greeting with a stream of spit towards the vicinity of M's freshly buffed shoes.

Shocked, Lacy and Tammy emit a gasp. Undaunted, M excused himself, walked calmly over to the security station and reported Mr. H C's actions. Mr. Hoochie Coochie was then escorted from the building with security talking very sternly into his ear. M returned to the ladies, bid them a good night and safe travels by to Minnesota.

A little background: Hoochie Coochie man is a musician at the club. Sometimes a headliner. He wasn't playing the night in question. I'd heard tales of Hoochie Coochie's actions before. Hoochie has been sneering and snorting at M for some weeks now, presumably because of M's attractiveness to the ladies, infringing on that which Hoochie considers his territory. I suppose. He could of course, just be a nut, he does introduce himself to women as hoochie coochie man. Throughout all his dealings with Hoochie Coochie, M has continued to be polite making sure to congratulate and praise him on his good sets.

I am pleased and proud of M's handling of the situation and his over-all composure and demeanor. His more volatile sister had some choice suggestions for alternate responses to becoming the target of someone's spit. Never-the-less, we couldn't stop laughing during M's recitation, as he does exhibit a certain story telling flair.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder what Hoochie Coochie would have looked like with a size 13 freshly buffed shoe print all over his hoochie coochie butt.