No Turning Back

So much information; names, faces, places, terms, facts, figures. . .
d-e-t-a-i-l-s! There is so much (more) reading to do, so much (more) ground to cover. So much (more) work.

Yes, I feel like my head it about to explode.

The first week of training has been exhausting yet exhilarating.

All the new associates were assigned to veteran district coordinators. The team I was assigned to has three others beside myself. One of the three, a young woman, younger than my daughter, is struggling with her decision. She's discouraged, very much, after week one. I hope she returns. I'm trying to encourage her, but she's working with some particularly negative family (and friends) mojo.

Plus, half of the folks who started with us Friday, the ninth of August, have already quit.

But, as our trainer (and Jerry Butler said, "Only The Strong Survive".  Knowing what I've learned of her life (to date) I think she is strong.

This past week has reminded me of  a sort of mantra I read (and noted in a journal) months ago: Work hard. Do Good. Be incredible.

Beyond that, one day, one step at a time, full steam ahead.

Officially Fifty-Three

A few things have happened since we were last together; my final (physical) day at work, the family picnic, having no place to go that next Monday morning, my fifty-third birthday, fear, and moving past that . . .

Much like my last (physical) day with my former employer, my fifty-third birthday passed without much in the way of fanfare. There was the FB acknowledgements which were received with gratitude, a couple of greeting cards, phone calls, and hugs from those near and dear. And again, received with gratitude. But otherwise the day (and several preceding) was spent in my room studying manuals toward clearing two hurdles (tests), a gateway to an opportunity, the next chapter(s) of my life. 

Said opportunity was presented to me (and others) at the company's Open House--to which I was invited via email--in response to one of my posted r&#233sum&#233s. At the end of the presentation I opted not to move forward, deciding that said opportunity, "wasn't a good fit."  

That, "not a good fit" haunted me over the next several days. And I got mad.  

Nearly a week later there is an identical invitation to an identical Open House. After advising the recruiter that I'd been the the Open House just the week before and relaying what I relayed at that time, I asked to be considered for the next step--a face-to-face--to further discuss the job, the expectations, the compensation algorithm, and . . . well, me. 

The recruiter agreed to see me and the first two questions she asked were, "why did you feel you weren't and good fit and what has changed your mind"? 

Long story short, I explained about the fear that overtook me and then the anger that welled up until IT beat the fear down. We had a nice conversation after which she asked me to take the weekend, think it over, be sure . . . 

Well, the week before my fifty-third birthday I decided to take a leap, accept the opportunity which meant signing up for two classes, which would lead to my taking the two tests. The materials were received and studying ensued.  

And on the day after my fifty-third birthday I took and passed the tests.  

A week from now, I'll be moving forward to the next chapter, inspired by my mother who, against many odds, beating down her own fears, reached a measure of success in a number of endeavors, given a variety of limitations and hurdles. She worked very hard to provide for my brothers and me.  She was very proud of her accomplishments. And I was very proud of her. 

I'm taking all of that, her pride, her strength, her, "wanting the very best for me" attitude with me next week and beyond. 

But first, cake.