Monday, March 26, 2007

Excuse Me

The idiom touts apples and good health, how one a day keeps doctors away. I'd read somewhere recently a quote attributed to Mae West, replacing orgasm with apples. Orgasms have nothing to do with the post, except that given a choice of an apple a day or an orgasm a day, to keep doctors at bay, well, I don't suppose I have to spell out the choice I'd make. Do I?

I do, however, like apples. Very much so. I eat them often. Not everyday, but very often. Eating apples, though, does present a problem, or shall I say, a challenge, as I do like to eat them on the run. Apples are the most portable of my favorite fruit selections. Eating apples on the run or in public present a problem for me because I belch after finishing the apple. No sooner do I swallow the last bite, does a barrage of belches well up and spew out like the dirty words that spew out of the mouth of the carpenter who has banged her hand with the hammer, again.

No other fruit or other food product produces this reaction. I suppose there could be worse reactions, so perhaps I shouldn't complain. If however, you do see me eating an apple, which you probably won't because as you might imagine, even though I might eat the apple on the run, I do tend to avoid being in the vicinity of people when I do...but, should you see me eating an apple, you will excuse me, while I take my leave until the belches have passed.


  1. As long as you don't burp after an orgasm, I think you're fine. :)

  2. Does the color of the apple influence the quality of the burp?

    And wen... lol

  3. That is interesting. I wonder what causes that?

  4. And you look so refined... Frankly I'm shocked and appalled! :)

  5. elizabeth10:59 PM

    Well, as you know, cosidering the rule at the motel in Memphis, burping is so not a problem for moi.

    I hear in Germany, burping after orgasm is the polite thing to do. You don't want the host to think you didn't like the meal er nuthin'.

  6. elizabeth11:02 PM seemed to have snagged the perfect picture. That's a very violent burp.

  7. Hi Deborah,

    I am speechless.......

  8. I'll never think of eating an apple quite the same way again!


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