Tuesday, October 24, 2017

For Lack of a Better


The net result of having eaten cabbage as an anchor for multiple meals is getting halfway to work on Monday with a searing need to . . . well, let's just say a body had to tighten up for the last 100 steps or so to the office door. And then, cool, calm, and collected (like) make one's way to the lavatory for sweet release and relief.

Hoping (against conventional wisdom, perhaps) that the worst was over, I sat back down at my desk to work. Within an hour, the need to....

Again, release and relief and a quick trip to the convenience store across the street to score some meds to combat this condition

That is how my week (last week) began. It didn't improve much beyond that auspicious beginning.

I fell on Tuesday. Nothing was broken,  but goodness did I feel like a lummox. On the plus, several did offer assistance and asked after my well being.  My emotions recovered fairly quickly but my arms and palms were sore for a few days after.

Wednesday was the best of all. Sitting down to a dinner of left-over cabbage (it had been a few days) and cornbread. I typically use smoked turkey tails to flavor my greens, beans, and such. After a forkful or two into the meal, one of the tail bones decide to try to slide down my throat.

Except, it didn't slide. It lodged.

I shall spare you the bloody and gorier details. Suffice to say I scare the (nearly) literal shit of myself, the dog, and the cat.

Today, a week after the week that was, I am alive and well, and I finally fit into some slacks I bought over two years ago. All in all, not a horrible way to set up the end of October.

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10 comments:

  1. Well, if bad things really do come in threes, you should be safe for awhile!

    Congrats on surviving, thriving and smaller pants!

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    1. Safe. For awhile. That would be swell.

      Thank you.

      Delete
  2. Oh my goodness!!! That sounds awful, especially the choking. I'm so glad you're OK.

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    1. It was. I could have written separate posts on each event.

      I am glad to be okay too. Thank you

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  3. Wow. The week that was was a doozy! Glad you are ok, and lived to tell the tale!

    Also, cabbage = devil lettuce.

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    1. Doozy, yep.
      Thanks.
      Normally cabbage (green, never had red.that is another post) and I get along swell. But may not thrice a day for two days running. ;-)

      Delete
  4. Glad it turned out well, but I caught my breath reading about the smoked turkey tail.

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    1. It was kind of an out of body experience, so many thoughts, not the least of which, get out you damn bone, running through my mind.

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  5. Jeezum that's a bad week! Killer turkey tails, a fall, and that horrible "gotta go RIGHT NOW" feeling. I'm glad you survived them all and fit into slimmy slacks to boot. I am not friends with the cabbage, either. That feeling when you have so much further to go before you can find a toilet is the WORST, I'm glad you made it safely.

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    Replies
    1. To add insult, the meds I bought at convenience store prices spilled in my jacket pocket after my second dose. Thankfully, I didn't need much more.

      I am happy about the slack fitting. Still have quite a ways to go. ;-)

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