D Smiles

That smile, along with other fine attributes, has brightened many a day for me. My daughter’s smile and the soon to follow laugh morphing into a snort, if she is truly tickled, energizes rooms. My rooms, anyway.

That smile aside, D can be formidable. Her at times bold, brash and full of fiery bravado personality tends to have her leaping first and asking questions, or rather, suffering the consequences later. She is also fiercely loyal and passionate. She can also be very heart-warming, gushy. Many of our days together have been a roller-coaster of events and the ever present emotions. She has been known to thrill, entertain and supremely frustrate me multiple times in a single day, her favorite parlor trick since even before she was born.

D and I went to a batting cage recently. She found it hard to believe that I hit the ball better (at first) than she. I was pretty shocked too. I haven’t swung a bat at a ball in...I don’t know how many years and she is the better athlete, generally. Better, I did, but she wasn’t bitter. We were having a very good time, as we do so very often.

There are waves, swells even. I can be over-protective and enthusiastic about control. She can be impulsive and stubborn. Surprised? It shall be interesting to see how we will further relate now that the male ballast has vacated estrogen central.

The last few months have been somewhat trying for daughter D and mom D. Although very supportive of the later in life lesbianism in a theoretical sense, D has struggled with the reality of the actual girlfriend. D likes Neta, as much as she can given what she knows of her. And she does trust my judgment and that I love Neta, but D wonders how my burgeoning relationship will affect her, or rather me and her. "You will change mom" she asserts. Well, of course I will, for the better. I will be (have been) even happier, even more fulfilled, for starters. For D it is complicated, yet simple. She doesn’t want to lose me.

Of course, she never will. Never could.

My daughter has dreams that will likely take west, to California or Nevada. These dreams won’t become reality for some time to come, in the meantime, I continue to assure her. Continue to be a passenger, sometimes associate driver in the ride that is D. Being her mother is the adventure of a lifetime. Being her friend is a treasure and a privilege that I cherish every day.
Keep on smiling baby girl D. Mom D thinks you are da bomb!