Saturday, December 01, 2012


Some time over the past few weeks Cinnamon and Buttah have formed some kind of . . . grudging acceptance for the presence of the other. Buttah braves journeys to the lower perches and the floor because he craves interaction and attention.  As a result, he suffers the clumsy, flopping ministrations of the big brown pup.

Eventually he tires of the game, fends off the big brown pup, and scampers back to higher ground. Or barring navigation his own escape, is rescued by one of the humans.  Still, somewhere in the midst of the ministrations, protestations, fending, and rescuing, they . . . bonded. Of sorts. More often than not, they are just sitting, in the same place, on the same bed, without incident . . . that is, until big brown pup deems the amnesty period over.

The game, or rather the dance being played out has the feel of something brewing. . some kind of relationship. . . some kind of friendship.

Bearing witness to the brewing over the past few weeks has had me thinking about friends generally and my friends specifically. I count very few people in that category of friend (FB semantics aside). As a child I had difficulty making friends; our multiple moves, the sheltering thanks to my girl status, my being a bona fida introvert all played a role.

My high school years were the most static, as I spent 4 years in one school and was able to form a few solid (as solid as possible considering I couldn't / didn't invite people home) relationships. One such relationship followed me well into adulthood only to be lost to lesbianism, or rather her homophobic reaction to my lesbianism.

Fastforward to today and there are, as I said, very few people who I consider a friend (again, FB semantics aside). Each of the few are a treasure to me, golden. I trust each is aware of their importance to me as I am active in the cultivation of these relationships.

Still, something is amiss. Or rather, I am missing. The One.  Not necessarily a girlfriend in that sense (though that would be sweet) but a running buddy, a wing-woman, a "kick it" partner. There is a certain pathology at play with the relationships I have formed (and those that have stuck) that bear some exploration.

Perhaps some adjustments are warranted.

In the meantime, I thank you friends for being there / here for me. For helping me through some tough days (even if you didn't know you were). Your humor, honesty, creativity, and most of all your presence is a treasure, golden.

And, Cinnamon is pretty sure she wants Buttah for a friend. Buttah, on the other hand, seems somewhat wary. Though, I think eventually, he'll come around. I believe he will be able to teach Cinnamon to temper her ministrations, a bit.    



  1. Anonymous8:05 AM

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. Husbands are nice... but I am searching for that best-friendiness myself.

  2. I think this may spur a blogpost of my own at some point.

    But I would really like a One too. Someone to get up to things with and who I'd be able to call and talk with and who could call me and ... well, all that you're talking about.

  3. Nothing wrong with pondering before leaping into things. I can count my true friends on one hands and with all five, I thought quite carefully before I leaped.

  4. Ah, friends. So very important! So very hard to come by!

    Keep you eyes open and your antennae swiveling and you will find them/her.

    Good progress with the pup! Yay for Buttah!

  5. Thank you ladies and e, I will.

    Indeed, YaY for Buttah!

  6. I want a One too. Woman does not live by
    Tazo Tea alone.

  7. @ Madame One Tree: lol Here. Here.

  8. To get That One, it takes a lot of trust-building, evidence of always kind intent while not necessarily always saying or doing the perfect thing, and some shared something that is often undefinable. My Wing-Girl has become my very, very best friend over the course of the last 12 years. We started out by dating briefly. Somehow, she ended up getting from me way more than I have ever given a lover. Allowing time and space to build that trust and intimacy was needed. And, of course, that went without the expectation of being anything other than the true me, and having that be just fine. Other good friends are counted on one hand - like Maria said. There are friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for life. Only a few land in the latter category.

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  10. @ Lori: Thank you. Oh, so true. :)


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