Monday, August 10, 2015

Dream Driving

Once we were lovers, but somehow things have changed, now we're just lonely people, trying to forget each other's names.

For many days leading in and for a few after my birthday, I awoke with this song creeping out of the corners of my mind. Birthdays, like New Year's bring about the thoughts, a look through the rear view as well as ahead.

And thoughts often revolve around relationships--past, present, and future--for relationships are life.

All the past relationships, intimate and otherwise, hold some fond memories--more hurt--but some pockets of pleasure, as well. It is the pleasures on which I choose to dwell. There is no present intimate relationship, and to be honest, I don't see such an event on the road ahead. But, just because I don't see it doesn't mean IT isn't out there waiting for me to drive through. I keep the trunk stocked, just in case.

I get along pretty well with my son and daughter. I love them, of course. But, I like them a bunch. And they seem to like me which works out really well. And while it is stress filled having the three of us (plus two cats and a 55 pound dog) under the same roof, everyone is respectful and . . well, humor wins the day--most days. Relationships with other family and friends are continual works in progress. I work to nurture all my relationships. Still, every now and again, even with extreme care, relationships fade. . .

. . . and then there is me, learning to embrace the skin I'm in, to appreciate the square peg-nacity that I bring to the round party, to drive my lane, at my own speed, in my own vehicle--nurturing the relationship with my own true self, for that . . . well, is life.

And sometimes at night I think I hear you calling my name, Mmm, mmm, mmm, these dreams, they keep me going these days*

*These Dreams written by Jim Croce.

#MicroBlogMonday  

18 comments:

  1. I like the idea of being open to new challenges in life. I used to love stability and being stagnant, until I was pushed to move. :)

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    1. The one constant is change, so one must be ... if not ready, then certainly . . . expecting it. ;-)

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  2. Some relationships have a natural life span, and even when it's sad there can come a time to let it go. But every enduring connection brings a lot of joy : )

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    1. As I have come to realize, yes. And yes, every enduring connection does indeed bring joy. :-)

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  3. I'm finding having a sense of humor helps with all my important relationships, and it also helps me when certain relationships ebb and flow. Funny how birthdays trigger this kind of introspection - as I recall, we're only five years and a few days apart, and I've had a similar thoughts in recent days.

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    1. Something about them... for sure.

      I practice: smile. breathe. smile. routines (especially at work)
      Sometimes it is a challenge.

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  4. I love this: "appreciate the square peg-nacity that I bring to the round party" as well as the idea that good things may be waiting in the road that you don't even know about yet.

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  5. Happy Birthday and Happy Year-Turning thoughts to you, lady.

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  6. Ah..many happy returns of the day!

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    1. Ah yes, the day returns. :-) Thank you!

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  7. I love the sweetest and self knowledge/acceptance of this post.

    I have had difficulty in the past with letting go of relationships but the older and wiser me is finally realizing how important it is to make room for more joy in my life.

    Lastly, thanks for the Jim Croce memories. They bring back a very sweet time in my life.

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    1. "make room for more joy . . " this, yes.

      "If I could save time in a bottle . . " you're welcome. Sweetness.

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  8. Yes, relationships come and go. It's good to focus on the positive, on what we got from them, than either the negatives, or what we lost when the relationship faded. I try to do this but it's not always easy!

    I love this thought too that the relationship with yourself - your true self - is life, and worth investing in. I learnt this during and since infertility and loss, but it's easy to forget, and it is good to have a reminder every so often.

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    1. Hard lesson to learn. Worth it. :-)

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  9. So it's the birthday time that is getting so many thoughts.

    Some relationships are not there to stay and as you say, it also doesn't mean that one should close the thought in future. Humor brings out the best always.

    A very thought provoking post!

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  10. HI Parul! Thank you for your kind words. :-)

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