Wednesday, September 09, 2009

No Intervention Needed

I was running late one morning and decided to stop in McD's (across the big street at the end of our block) for a coffee and possibly a hash brown pattie thingy. As a general rule of thumb I avoid McD's. But they fit the bill in a pinch. That morning I decided against the hash brown pattie thingy and went instead for the McGriddle TM thingy. I opted for the bacon (over sausage) and egg, minus the cheese. Cheese is just wrong here, but different strokes . . .

I didn't expect to like the sandwich. (I know, why order if I didn't expect to like it? I had some notion that I needed justfication for my wholesale panning of the thought...maple infused "pancake" bread paired with egg, meat, cheese. Ick). Anyhoo, I didn't expect to like it, but the sandwich was okay. I'm sure the cheese would have confirmed my initial icky thought, but sans cheese the sandwich wasn't half bad.

As a result, I've been averaging one McGriddle a week for the past several. But, I say here and now, the affair is over. Over. Over Not, however because of the sandwich. No, I still like the sandwich. But, not only is going into McD's regularly contrary to my goals (on a few fronts) it is also not the most pleasant experience.

A typical order event:

McD clerk: Welcome to McD's, may I help you / take your order ?(depends on the day / clerk)

Me: I'd like a medium coffee, one cream (on the side) no sugar.

McD clerk: How many sugars?

Me: No sugar.

McD clerk: No sugar?

Me: No. No sugar --I'm sure I've mentioned this McD trait before and one would think: lesson. learned.

McD clerk: Ok, anything else?

Me: Yes, a bacon and egg McGriddle. No cheese.

McD clerk: You want egg?

Me: Yes, egg (and bacon) but no cheese.

McD clerk: You don't want cheese?

Me: No, no cheese.

McD clerk: you want the meal or just the sandwich

Me: Just the sandwich, please.

Each and every time, the only variation is the greeting. So, while the sandwich satisfied and itch I didn't even expect to have, the thrill is definitely gone.

We're getting a Dunkin' D's in the neighborhood (eventually, slowest construction, except for the transformation of the building that is due to become a Chicken and Waffles establishment). But fear not, I will not be lured there for my quickie breakfast fixes. Their breakfast sandwich is narsty. Double Icky. And the ordering experience can be as vexing.


  1. Try this experiment:

    You: I'd like a medium coffee
    McD: How many sugars
    You: No Sugar

    Then see if they ask 'no suger?'

  2. That shit drives me NUTS! If I want it, I'll order it. And don't make me repeat myself 3 times. God DAMNIT!

  3. eb: yep, yep. btdt. query(multiple) remain.

  4. This is exactly why I bring a box of instant oatmeal to work with me every Monday.

  5. Dunkin Donuts always tries to push food on me when all i want is coffee, it's like they can't imagine someone not wanting to get donuts, bagels, or muffins. Yes, I'm sure I don't want one, thank you very much.

  6. The only thing I get at McD's anymore and in diminishing frequency (seems like only when on a road trip), is a bacon egg and cheese biscuit with extra cheese. Changing up the order in any way from how McD's thinks it should be made insures a freshly made sandwich. I have some comfort in knowing our cheese desires balance each other out.

    When asked if I would like that as a meal I feel compelled to ask the employee if I stuttered or slurred my speech. Either that, or I ask them if they heard me ask for a meal.

    My favorite exchange always comes at Taco Bell when I order a bean burrito, no red sauce. The next question is invariably "Any hot, mild, or fire sauce with that?" umm, is it red?

  7. I get that at the gas station.

    Me: fill it up regular please.

    Attendant: Fill it up regular?

    Me: yes please.

    Attendant: you said fill it up right?

    Me: Yes

    Attendant: With regular?

    Me: YES!

    oy - youth today.


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