Friday, February 25, 2011

Urgency

Most, if not all have been there; the thousand pound weight pressing on your bladder screaming for a body to get thee to the nearest relief station PDQ or else . . .

Often most, if not all have been able (thanks to kegels?) to urge the pressing weight back up the canal, so to speak, allowing those precious extra minutes for a body to locate the nearest station toward partaking of sweet, satisfactory, sensational . . . aaahhhhh . . .

And then there is the other, uhm, emergent need. The one that begins with a rumbling in the tummy. Not the gentle gurgle signaling the need for a bit of food. No, not that. The roiling, bubbling churn signaling that all is about to break loose.

As was recently re-discovered there isn't much a body can do to urge ferocious fecal matter back up the pike, so to speak, once descent has begun. The hope and eternal sunshine prayer is that said body is close enough to a relief station toward avoiding mega-mess (memory flash) and . . .
well, yuck.

On a related note, when we were kids mom taught us to say BM as opposed to boo-boo, ca-ca, poop (or poopie). And the first curse word my mom heard me say; shit. As in, "shit nawl."

It's Friday, act like it dammit!

5 comments:

  1. LOL!!! This post is hysterically descriptive.

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  2. There's a Seinfeld in which Kramer has 'urgent issues' and says, "It was percolating". I always thought that was the perfect term. LOL

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  3. Tell it, sister! OMG, do I ever know of what you speak!!!

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  4. made worse if one is in a biz meeting, to this I can attest.

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    ReplyDelete

Hi! Your visit is much appreciated.