Sunday, July 09, 2006

YB ( Younger Brother )

During his freedom stint that last time, he and his wife bought a house, He started an auto detailing business. He talked his wife into quitting her job to come into the business and help him run office functions, full-time. Without her income and other benefits, clothing and feeding their two daughters and one son, maintain the house and business became too much for him and the business alone to sustain. Over extended, stressed and panicked, he fell on old behavior. He got sticky fingers. Breaking and Entering being his favorite method of obtaining viable goods to sell.

An user and abuser of drugs off and on this entire adult life; he needed to feed this hunger as well. Five years after his parole that time, he was arrested again. He was found asleep in traffic, in the car he had stolen. The car was full of items taken from a house he broke and entered. He made a deal, pled out and got 12 years. He was paroled after serving six.

YB has been out since March. He's busy rebuilding his life, reinserting himself into the lives of his family. His stepdaughter had two children while he was inside. His daughter starting learning how to play the clarinet and has had several recitals while he was inside. His son was busy being an active, playful, funny little boy while he was inside. Life went on without him, while he was inside.

At 44 years old and three prison stints, my younger brother wants exactly what he wanted when he was 16. He wants to be a gazillionaire. He wants it hard and he wants it fast. At 44 he is still impatient, immature, impetuous and susceptible to implosion.

Today he wants to distribute supplies to auto detailing shops in and around Chicago and surrounding suburbs. He would like eventually to open his own auto dealership. He has various research projects that he needs help conducting. Having been both victimized and betrayed by him many, many times before, I'm reluctant, yet...

He is his mom's baby boy, father to my only nieces and nephew and as persistent as a blood-thirsty mosquito. So for his kids, for his mom, for our family, I try to be positive. I try to be supportive. I will try to help.

I'll try to keep from getting stung.


  1. I'm very sorry your Bs have made such difficult choices. I'm not sure how you can involve yourself without being stung, but you have my respect.

    Good luck.

  2. Ditto what wenwhit said... and be strong.

  3. Deb, you WILL be stung. Face it. So only give what you can afford to loose. The last time my brother asked for money I told him I go to debtor's anonymous (which was true at the time) & I can NOT debt as I was pulling myself out. I now send him money when I have some to spare which isn't often & only in small increments - $50 or $100.

  4. Kmae - thanks. I pretty much expect I will be-hoping not--but it's a glimmer, at best.

    I gave him money just before he was paroled. In his letter he called it a loan. I wrote back that I didn't expect to get that back, BUT..made it clear that this would not become practice or habit Hello?? I work 2 jobs-not because I like working. I suspect though that he will get around to hitting me up (or try to) further, I think he taps mom from time-to-time and since I provide her with assistance...

    Right now, the favors are in the area of checking stuff out on- line & printing said stuff.I put a limit on that too--paper & ink ain't cheap.

  5. Very good. I learned that putting up high boundries from the beginning nipped him asking for money from me often. phew! Saved myself from a lot of guilt from having to say no a lot. I do love my brother.


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