Mom: So, you were out. Did you get my message?
Me: Yes, I got your message.
She presumed I was out and I didn’t correct her. Had her message been of an emergency, health or otherwise issue, I would have picked up, but it wasn’t.
The call had to do with family
Mom (on the machine): I don’t understand what they’re doing. I’m sick of this shit. Portia wants to have food at the house. Reggie thinks sandwiches at the Temple are plenty. Daniel’s not going and Ronnie IS his son. What kind of shit is that? Portia wanted to know if you would sit with him at their house. I told her I couldn’t answer for you, she should call you. Call me when you can.
Call me when you can, just so you know, is code for WHY AREN’T YOU HOME TO ANSWER THIS CALL? & CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU HEAR THIS MESSAGE!
I called her this morning and after side-stepping question after question about where I was, whether I was with M or D, how late I was out (since it was after 9 and I didn’t pick up the phone), yada x 3. I got the answering machine version with details, many, many details. There is some back-story that I can't get into here, but basically my mom feels and has felt short-changed by her family for many, many years and events like this tend to bring those emotions to the surface.
After she wound down about that, the election, folks running around trying to get ‘historic’ newspaper editions, needing to find another way to cart her stuff around, her newest therapy and most recent diagnosis, she needed to know if I could braid her hair on Saturday, when no doubt there will be even more and / or more of the same to relate.
Me: Of course.
First, sorry for your loss. Second, sorry your mom has to deal with these feelings. It can't be easy.
ReplyDeleteThird, good for you for not answering, but you sound awfully guilty about it! Own it! ; )
Oh Deborah, I totally understand. I feel soooo guilty when I tell a half truth to my mom. And I always think she somehow knows.
ReplyDeleteFamily drama sucks more than regular drama. Hope it smooths over soon.
You're a good daughter. That's what counts.
ReplyDeleteSeems as though family drama only gets worse surrounding a death. It's sad because that's a time when you should be closer...My condolences...
ReplyDeleteWhen my family 'drama' becomes too much, I try and remind myself that though they can be trying, they aren't going to be around forever, they mean well, and well, no one is perfect! :)
ReplyDeletehang in there.
Ay yaya.
ReplyDelete