Saturday, Here In the Park

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Six Word Saturday 

Let's not talk about the weather. 

. . . emerge!?

The first, the last, the everything.

Six word Saturday.  

not crying, but there are tears

Whatever crying I do is done in private.

Quietly. 

In my room, in the shower, in the darkness of a theater. 

Silently. 

Without witnesses and very little evidence. 

But this isn't about crying. 

It is about tears. 

Allergies have attacked my eyes which have produced tears. 

A lot of tears. 

Additionally, I'm not sleeping very well at night and as a result grow very, very tired during the midst of my workdays. The train rides home turn into yawning marathons. 

Serial yawning produces tears. 

A lot of tears. 

Most of the other commuters ignore me and my waterlogged face. Some pretend to ignore but are clearly disturbed. While others, disturbed and concerned, ask outright, "are you okay, is there anything I can do for you?" 

Nothing to be done except take the anti-allergy meds, try to get enough rest, and keep my pockets stocked with tissues. 

never let them see me cry*

the week tested my mettle in more ways than one. it made me cancel plans to celebrate with my very dear friend one of those milestone birthdays. missing the event pained me deeply and will haunt me for days, if not weeks to come. it made me concerned over my financial present and scared me shit-less over my financial future. it made me cry. it made me sick. it made me tired, weary, and just . . . damn.

but.

i held it together, mostly.  thanks in large part to the presence and help of a new friend.  her listening to me this week, the silver around all the clouds.

she and i are navigating a path toward being more than friends. but for now a friend is what i needed and a friend is what she's been and for that i am truly grateful.  that said, traveling the path toward more . .  the thought, the moves, those feelings made the week bearable and the prospect of beyond, brighter, no matter what.

*six word saturday submission