Three years ago this month I told the blog community that I was a Lesbian. I'm happy and quite proud of that fact. I. Am. A. Lesbian. That said, this June...this month of P R I D E, only a few days away from Chicago's celebratory festival and parade, hasn't been the UP-filled time I was hoping for.
A year ago, June Neta was arriving and then she was here. We attended the parade (my first ever) and had a glorious time before, during, and well after. We visited the next few days, dropping in on the Taste of Chicago, nearly melting in the sweltering heat, but cooling with a delectable Rainbow cone. She was in my town, in my condo, in my arms. Last year when she departed, I fully expected we'd repeat all of that, and then some this year.
But here we are this year, no longer a couple, no plans to visit. No, . . . just, no.
Anyhoo, I didn't expect to be lulled so completely and utterly into the splendor of love. But, because I was and my focus was on building and nurturing that love, I didn't have much of a chance to explore much beyond that long-distance relationship. Now with that gone, I'm back where I was three years ago June.
Well, not exactly. The time and experience have had an affect.
Still, I consider myself newbie with a community to explore, experiences to . . . experience.
Toward that end I have became a joiner this year. In addition to the walking group, which is not (much) of a social vehicle, I joined Thrifty Queer Adventurers, and Lesbians in Movieland, just to name two. There are other groups (and invites to others still) revolved around my various interests. Some are more active than others. Some offer events that are more to my liking than the others. All offer an opportunity to get out and explore, and to not be solo while doing so.
I will also continue to attend the monthly Woman Like Me meetings whenever I can, because they help me and I think might offer an opportunity for me to help someone else.
So, this June, though there is a a tremendous void in my life, around my heart, I'm out there, exploring and experiencing...the city, the gay and lesbian community, and more of myself. No, I am not as UP this June, but I'm more OUT.