Monday, June 22, 2009

June. Pride.

Three years ago this month I told the blog community that I was a Lesbian. I'm happy and quite proud of that fact. I. Am. A. Lesbian. That said, this June...this month of P R I D E, only a few days away from Chicago's celebratory festival and parade, hasn't been the UP-filled time I was hoping for.

A year ago, June Neta was arriving and then she was here. We attended the parade (my first ever) and had a glorious time before, during, and well after. We visited the next few days, dropping in on the Taste of Chicago, nearly melting in the sweltering heat, but cooling with a delectable Rainbow cone. She was in my town, in my condo, in my arms. Last year when she departed, I fully expected we'd repeat all of that, and then some this year.

But here we are this year, no longer a couple, no plans to visit. No, . . . just, no.

Anyhoo, I didn't expect to be lulled so completely and utterly into the splendor of love. But, because I was and my focus was on building and nurturing that love, I didn't have much of a chance to explore much beyond that long-distance relationship. Now with that gone, I'm back where I was three years ago June.

Well, not exactly. The time and experience have had an affect.

Still, I consider myself newbie with a community to explore, experiences to . . . experience.

Toward that end I have became a joiner this year. In addition to the walking group, which is not (much) of a social vehicle, I joined Thrifty Queer Adventurers, and Lesbians in Movieland, just to name two. There are other groups (and invites to others still) revolved around my various interests. Some are more active than others. Some offer events that are more to my liking than the others. All offer an opportunity to get out and explore, and to not be solo while doing so.

I will also continue to attend the monthly Woman Like Me meetings whenever I can, because they help me and I think might offer an opportunity for me to help someone else.

So, this June, though there is a a tremendous void in my life, around my heart, I'm out there, exploring and experiencing...the city, the gay and lesbian community, and more of myself. No, I am not as UP this June, but I'm more OUT.


  1. This resonated. Nice pride reflection.

  2. You have amazing courage and tenacity Deborah. Happy Pride!

  3. Damn, it IS still sad. Such a bummer.

    BUT you are really doing well,
    esp for a newbie... Yes, which you definately still are. Because how much physical face to face time (Uh, not to mention elsewhere) did you actually spend together?
    And obviously not enough - like a blink in time & poof! It's over. damn I'm pissed at her, what a fuckup she became.
    sorry for the rant, You are doing GREAT, & well, you KNOW how crowded pride day is, you will see SO many women.!
    Also, in NYC Lesbians march & have their own parade Sat night (before the big one on sun...) Does Chi-town have that??? Something to check out!
    PS Be safe!.

  4. It's wonderful to know you're comfortable with YOU. Hooray!

  5. Wish we could come go to pride with you because we hate going to pride here. With the exception of oh, three years ago. Maybe four. Ahem. We were at out go-to pol hall, right on the parade route, and never even saw the parade go by. Can you say Tequila?

  6. You are doing so much exactly right. And something tells me that by next year, your blog will have a LOT of news....

  7. I am so glad that you are staying active and exploring other sides of your new community.
    Sounds like you're handling the break-up in a very healthy way.


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