four thousand and one

Excuse me...just one moment please...it will be just one...more...OK. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I was just recording my 4000th screen-name / password combo. I no longer use a phone book for which to store just phone numbers.

The home edition, is a yellow pages size tome full of phone numbers, email addresses, internet sites, usernames, passwords (yeah, I know, not supposed to write them down, but come on, remember 4000 passwords? I have trouble remembering what I had for lunch yesterday, oh wait, I remember, cottage cheese, right, how could I forget?) and notes. It's beginning to look like the bound federal budget.

Anyways, I fear, I might be running out. Do I have any more variations of my name, the streets I've lived on, the pets I didn't have, pets I did have, schools we attended, crimes my brothers committed, years they committed them, cars I've had, various colors my hair has been, number of coffee cups in the cupboard, number of coffee cups in the sink, number of plates broken in the last 6 weeks, number of spoons lost, (lost spoons? who in the hell is taking all the spoons) number of times I've asked someone (the last one) to refill the toilet paper roller, number of times I've changed light bulbs in the common areas, number of squirrels I've seen eating my flowers or ounces of fox urine I bought to keep the squirrels at bay?

I must, because I keep on going.