A Year Ago

I remember like it were yesterday, of course I have a blog post to jump start that memory. For the record, my prediction was wrong. Diamond did not shred Hills to smithereens. She generally ignores her unless someone presses the issue. Diamond is particularly particular about her toys, or rather toy. There is only one, a squeaky soccer ball, that garners any real attention. So much so, it rarely squeaks anymore. But, back to the point, a year ago . . .


My daughter was excited to cast her vote on Super Tuesday and even more so in November. Today, her president proposes, negotiates, parents with the weight of the world on his shoulders.


We didn't have Buttah (who has just celebrated his 2nd birthday) the cat. I was not thrilled with my daughter's act of defiance bringing Buttah into our small space in last summer. But I couldn't be more thrilled to have him here today. He's brought many hours of joy and huggy goodness. He, like the rest of us is watching his waistline (well, he isn't but he are) and is a tad cranky about the new feeding plan, but all is forgiven quickly enough.


The biggest change today over a year ago is I don't have a girlfriend. I am no longer in the throes of romance, the joys of anticipation, or the glow of . . . love. Oh, I'm still in love and I love her still, but as the nature of our relationship has changed, so too has our interaction. I miss her.


I am tired, yet energetic. I am driven to complete work-related tasks, yet feel scatterbrained and lost. I am positive and upbeat, yet weepy and low. I am, in the words of my lovely daughter, "a hot mess", or feel like it anyway.


My daughter, her ribbing aside (actually, part of her charm) has been a tower of strength. It could not have been easy for her to see me crumble. She hasn't seen it often and I think, not ever since she's been an adult. She's been great. She suggested we go speed-dating, "you know, just for fun...and material." (Daughter is an occasional contributor to a friend's cable access talk/variety show).


I'm working to maintain as I have goals to achieve and a life to live. I'm still tinkering with the details on just how that progresses from this point forward. But thanks to daughter, the kindness of a few friends, laughter, and even tears, forward, the star of this story, is within reach.