Mish Mash

Yes, I'm still growing my hair out.  I don't know how much longer I'll be able to tolerate it as it is thick and in the present state, unmanageable.  I may blow it out after the next wash toward figuring out some other "style" without too much hassle until . . .   

The ultimate goal is to be able to braid it (crown style) without it unraveling after a few hours. 


Yes, I'm still doing a daily sketchbook practice.  These are day 7 for two different disciplines and prompts, Pencilvember 2019 "Prince" and from the 2018 Inktober prompt list, "Exhausted".

I haven't drawn with pencils--with the intent of showing the pencil lines--in quite a while.  It is taking some getting used to.  I either have very poor quality color pencils or I just don't know what I'm doing (or some combination) as I'm not happy with any of the sketches featuring color pencils.  Put, I'll keep plugging away at it. 

I am up to day 11.  Haven't figured out what I'm going to sketch for the two prompts; Galaxy for pencilvember and Cruel for the 2018 Inktober but I'm sure something will come to me.

A to Zee Then and Now

This meme was lifted from a friend who no longer blogs and posted to Middle Girl on 07/22/2011.  Let's take a look back, shall we? 

A to Zee Meme

Lifted from a friend because . . . well, just because. The original post linked to the friend's blog but I removed the link as she has shut down her page. Super sad face. 

A. Age
In just a bit over a week, I'll turn the clock on 51. Not nearly as troubled about my age as I am over the fact that in a bit over six months I will be the parent of a 30-year-old son. Thirty. When that day arrives and we're being all celebratory and what-have-you I'll likely say something like, seems like only yesterday.  HA in a week from yesterday, I'll be turning the clock on 57! And that 30-year old son is now 35. Thirty-Five.  That said, he was told recently he looks 27. :-) 

B. Bed Size
It is full. A lifetime ago I once had a queen . . .      hmm . there is a story swimming in there somewhere.     That story has yet to be written. Someday baby. 

C. Chore You Hate
No diggity, no doubt: Litter boxes. It is the very meaning of the chore. OH YEAH. 

D. Dogs
Like my friend, singular, dog. She is a Shih-Tzu/terrier mix shelter Diva dog and though not technically mine is as much to me as can be.  Now there is a poodle (and I think terrier) mix who again, is not technically mine but ... well, I love me some Cinnamon. 

E. Essential Start to Day
Well, not for nothing but I think it is essential to wake up.  This remains true! 

F. Favorite Color
Blue. No, purple. No, make that green. Oh, wait, yellow? Oh, I can't pick. I do know my least favorite . . . pink. Pink, pink, you stink. My position on pink has softened a bit. I won't wear it or decorate with it but, I don't abhor it. Much. 

G. Gold or Silver
I was once a gold girl but have since become a silver lady. And I was not talking about my hair. 

H. Height
Five feet and five and a half inches tall.  I may have grown some!  :-) 

I. Instruments Played
Took piano lessons for a time. And of course had to learn to play a recorder in grade school. In the late teen years, I bought a second (third or fourth) hand guitar and strummed out my angst.

J. Job Title
Mother, Daughter, Sister, Cousin, Friend, Manager. I am no longer a manager unless one wants to split hairs to note, "manager of my own existence" kind of thing. And as both parents are deceased I am not technically a daughter, but ... well, I'm splitting that hair. I am now, will forever be, THE ONLY DAUGHTER.  I am a medical biller. Not certified but likely will be someday. 

K. Kids
Kids? A nearly 30-year-old son and a nearly 26-year-old daughter. They couldn't be more different but I love 'em just the same. Do the math. Son is 35. Daughter will turn the clock on 32 in October. Good golly they are getting old. :-) 

L. Live
For over 28 years now in a 'burb just beyond THE city limits. I remember moving here with my wasband and baby boy like it was yesterday.  But it wasn't yesterday. It was many yesterdays ago. I didn't love the town when I moved here. We moved to give the kid a safe, stable, welcoming environment to grow, to thrive. A lot has changed, namely, I had a second child, got a divorce, and now, love this little village. Oh, and came out as a lesbian. And atheist. But, otherwise, the same.


M. Mom's Name
Her name is Florence. She doesn't have a middle name and doesn't like to be called anything but Florence. Call her "Flo" and it's ON !!!  My mom was not one for nicknames. 

N. Nickname
Well, folks still will call me Deb or Debbie. As a kid, I was called Gabby. When my son was young he wouldn't say mama (or anything like it) and in trying to say, "Deborah" he said, "Bubba" and that stuck for a bit. Gabby was my dad's nickname for me. My mom (though not one for nicknames, didn't mind "pet" names--which are different, I think...anyway, I was "Button" to her. 


O. Overnight Hospital Stays
Tonsils when I was eleven. Giving birth at 21 and then again at 25. When M was about three he had an operation and I stayed with him. When D was in 3rd grade she had an operation and I stayed with her. Some time back I had a lipoma removed. It was a 23-hour admission so still, no overnights beyond the responses in 2011. 


P. Pet Peeve
People who reply to my "thank you" with, "no problem." The appropriate response is, "you're welcome." Thank you.  Or (rather, AND) when folks make a big to-do about their birthday and then refuse to tell you how old they are.  Or (rather, AND) when folks ask you to guess their age. And then get offended when your guess is off. If you are sensitive about your age, birthdays are probably a topic you might want to steer away from. And please, may we un-spin, "no problem" it drives me further up walls than people popping their gum.  Okay, maybe not quite that bad. But, still...


Q. Quote from a movie
"That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol." One year both of my very different children gifted me with the same DVD. They have since learned to consult one another and I have learned to offer each vastly different gift ideas.  These days my son isn't much for gift giving particularly for "special" dates. He'd rather not receive gifts either. He is a, "celebrate everyday" kind of guy. The gift of one's presence and kindness is gift enough. My daughter is all about gifting. Receiving and otherwise. 

R. Right or Left Handed
Well, I can be pretty even handed. I do write with my right routinely. But can also print pretty legibly with the left. I do everything else, left-handed; hold eating utensils, swing the tennis racket, throw a ball, bat a ball.  I was forced to the right hand when I started school. Oh, and for the record, I don't do much swinging of tennis rackets or swinging bats at balls. 


S. Siblings
An older brother, Wayne. He is 51 and will be 52 in September. A younger brother, Jerome. He turned 49 in February. I failed to mention here a step brother and a half-brother via my father's second marriage. I didn't then, and do not now, consider them siblings but due to this lawsuit filed on behalf of my father's estate, we are connected. My mother's sons, Wayne will be 59 in September and Jerome is the double nickel.


T. Time you wake up
Without fail, most mornings between 4 and 4:30 no matter what time I lie down. I try to hold off GETTING up until 5 if I'm going riding before work) or 5:45 otherwise. I usually get up around 7 on the weekends to get a jump on errands and chores, namely--laundry mat. Hells Bells 4 AM??!! Now I rise, pretty routinely around 5:30. On workdays, I head out around 7:20. I try to sleep in a bit on non-work days but am usually up and at 'em by 7 or so. 

U. Underwear
Why yes, yes I do. Mostly cotton. Mostly H@nes. But, there is an exception or two in the bunch.  This is still mostly the case. Though I am to undergarments with a spandex-y kind of feel, action. 


V. Vegetable I dislike
In no particular order: Beets. Okra. Black-eyed peas. All equally disgustingly distasteful. Here again, softening a bit. Coming closer to adding beets to a smoothie. No discussion on black-eyed peas or okra. Nope, not budging. 


W. What makes me run late
Forgetting stuff. Phone. Not grabbing garbage on way out. Leaving my commuter cup full of the beverage of my choice on the kitchen counter and having to double back to get it. Ugh. The only difference here, I no longer take a commuter cup for my commutes. I don't eat or drink (anymore) on the buses or trains. It is against the rules and while folks don't get called on it very often, they should. Operators usually only come down on those folks consuming alcoholic beverages and/or are clearly inebriated. 

X. Xrays I've had done
Dental. Chest. Knees. check. check. check. 


Y. Yummy Food I Make
Mac N Cheese. Fried Chicken. I remember when I was . . . oh, eleven or twelve, I prepared dinner for the family. It was the first time. Among the menu items was fried chicken. I had to cut up a whole fryer, prep and then fry. I finally got it in some semblance of recognizable pieces and once fried, isaid pieces looked gorgeous. Hi-ever most were pretty raw on the inside. My mom laughed which gave my brothers license to ridicule me.  I don't cook much anymore but I learned (eventually) to prepare quite a few dishes reasonably well. 

Z. Zoo Animal
Big Cats and Bears. I prefer the larger zoos where the animals are displayed in habitats more closely resembling their natural habitat. I don' particularly like seeing the animals in cages, living part of my youth in a housing project I could relate. But, I remember field trips to a zoo, seeing things I'd never seen. Touching animals I'd never touched. I remember my little boy watching these guys for hours over the years and building an affection for their flights of fancy and for the area of the world from which they hail. My daughter isn't much for zoos (or animals other than dogs (especially D-dog) and cats.) That is of course unless she can be pulled in a wagon and food and souvenirs are on the docket. My son has mentioned walking through Chicago's free zoo on first or second dates. He thinks it a wonderful place to stroll, talk, getting to know someone. He and one young lady were strolling and talking so long they nearly got locked inside. I don't think my daughter has been to a zoo since she was a kid. 

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Forty Thirty Questions

I never finished answering the forty question (here) but I will someday. Probably. In the meantime, I present to you a Thirty Question Meme completed July 16, 2009. I think for the most part the answers are the same, but let's see, shall we?  Current day responses in red.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? 
No. Well, guards when I went to visit a brother in jail.  Thankfully, no change here. 

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? 
I don't but only because I don't feel compelled to ride them anymore. !!!!!!

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? 
When the kids were kids.  I remember that last time like it was yesterday. Didn't know then it would be the last time. 


4. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? 
Someone else, so long as she doesn't hog the covers. But I'll forgive that for the chance to have company again. I am reconsidering this response. I am not convinced I'm partnership compatible. 

5. Do you believe in ghosts? 
No. I am reconsidering this response... mom. 

6. Do you consider yourself creative? 
Yes.  Heck yeah! Though, I wish creativity would visit more frequently.   

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? 
Yes. And Ron Goldman too. 

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? 
JA or AJ what? Cicely Tyson? Serena Williams? Ava Duvernay? 

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics? 
Are you insinuating that I haven't been honest? Hmpf  However, these days I kinda wish to unknow a few things.  

10. Do you know how to play poker? 
No, not really. And you're not going to make me feel guilty about that. Hmpf. 

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? 
No. Thankfully, still no. 

12. What's your favorite commercial? 
Education Connection  I don't watch much broadcast TV anymore so, don't know if it is still running, but a classic ad. 

13. Who was your first love? 
Neta. Not to dis my ex-husband (may he RIP) and I loved him intensely at one time. But, I wasn't (me) so with him, it wasn't the first. Does that make sense? 

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light? Naaah. IF I'm driving in the middle of the night? Me driving? At night? hahahahahahaha Seriously, no running red lights. Ever 

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? 
Sure. And have added a couple to the collection. 

6. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? 
BRS or NYY what? Bums? what?  Can we show the Cubbies some love? What about the White Sox? No? The Women's National Soccer Team!! 

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? 
Well, I've been I just attempt to skate. Never learned how to ice skate. Daughter's the only one who can. I think I was trying to say, I have been ice skating I just didn't skate. I watch. 

18. How often do you remember your dreams? 
Rarely, though more lately. Ratio about the same.  

19. What's the one thing on your mind? 
How my mom's appointment will go tomorrow I believe she was seeing her cardiologist that time. 

20. Do you always wear your seat belt? 
Of course. I kinda wish the city buses had seatbelts. Some of those operators are speed demons. 

21. What talent do you wish you had?
 Balance plates on poles. Joking. . . I wish I were more athletic. Still athletic. But now, handier with tools and such, more and better skills with regard to home repair. 

22. Do you like Sushi? 
What little I've tried, yes. I'd like to explore a little more.  I have tried more. I can say I am a fan. 

23. What do you wear to bed? 
Usually a t-shirt and shorts. Unless it's cold, then long sleeved shirt and flannel lounge pants. And sometimes sweats or a hoodie--sometimes it is really cold. 

24. Do you truly hate anyone? 
I used to think so, but no. Truly, no. 

25. If you HAD to sleep with one famous person, who would it be? 
HAD to? This question still baffles me. HAD to? 

26. Do you know anyone in jail? 
Sadly, yes. My brother has since been released but there is a cousin or two still (or again) behind bars. 

7. What food do you find disgusting? 
Beets. I'm still on this tip. Though, I've recently read an article suggesting beets as a smoothie addition. I have considered it. 

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? 
Maybe, but I don't think so, not a friend.  What kind of friend does that? Seriously. 

29. Have you ever been punched in the face? 
Yes. "A girl child ain't safe in a family of men . . " is how Sophia (The Color Purple) put it. Wasn't quite that but yeah.  :::sigh:::

30. Do you believe in angels and demons? 
No.  Not in an "Exorcist" kind of way, but there are extremely good folks and of course, folks counter to that in our midst. 

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Uhm, To Do?

My driver's license expired on my birthday. I have not yet gone to the department of motor vehicles to pay the bucks, take the test, pose for the picture, to renew my license.

I'm procrastinating.

Though, not really. I haven't decided I want a license (again). I mean, I suppose I do, but I haven't yet committed to that decision. Conventional wisdom screams, "get the license, better to have it than not."

But,

for some reason I'm not sold, yet.

Still, either the license or the the state issued ID (the one I have expired in 2007) I need some form of valid identification.

Otherwise, I don't exist.

Steeling myself for a trip to the DMV sometime in the very near future.

11:50 A. M.

I celebrated a birthday recently. Well, point of fact, I'm still celebrating. There remains a brunch to share with the son. Given the mixed schedules of the three principals in my life and because of the fact of our lives, celebrations are varied and spread over a few days.

Works for me. Birthday celebrations should extend beyond the day, especially after a certain age, yes? Anyhoo . . .

Much of the actual day, Thursday was spent with mom. Apropos, I suppose given that she was a key player in the very first.

Hanging out with my mom can be challenging primarily because her conversational gambit is 20 (or 100) questions and the impending or actual death (of others) one of her favorite topics. She opened our lunch by re-visiting the topic of Rose. Days earlier she'd related Rose's death:

Mom: You remember me telling you about Rose?

Me: No.

Mom: You know, the lesbian?

Me: Oh yes, the lesbian. I just didn't know her name was Rose. What about her?

Mom: She died. And she was your age. She would have been 49 in August.

As of Thursday, some 13 or more days since Rose's death no burial or other disposition has taken place. It seems the family or partner don't have the means and . . .

. . . well, I won't subject you to any more of the conversation, it wasn't (as you might imagine) very chipper. Looping in my mind was the thought, the best thing about turning 49, is turning 49, happy birthday to me.

Still, given the givens, it was not a bad restaurant (oh, my mom and restaurants, a whole other issue) experience. There was another woman celebrating her birthday with a woman (I presumed was her mother, though could have been, a partner--no, on closer inspection, certainly not a partner, but perhaps not mother either) anyhoo, the woman, after hearing my mother order (very loudly) a piece of cake for me (she pretended to be afraid that the staff would start to sing, "happy birthday" thankfully, they didn't*) came to our table and announced, "it's my birthday too!! 7-30-1966!" We exchanged pleasantries and happy birthday greetings.

While sitting on a bench outside the restaurant (mom's breathing is becoming more, and more labored. Troubling, that. And yes, we're looking into the causes and possible remedy) in the midst of talking more about Rose, adding the deaths of John and her sister's (another Rose) displeasure with her son, she announced, "you look younger than she did, that woman in the restaurant."

Well, now . . . I don't know about me looking younger but I sure was looking (she was pretty cute).

Anyhoo . . . one of mom's many questions of the day was, "do you know what time you were born?" I hadn't committed the time to memory and I don't peer my birth records very often, but I did take a look, because I knew she would ask again and the next time, I'd have the answer, 11:50 a.m.

*one day I'll share the Joe's Crab Shack birthday celebration.

The Mom Survey

By way of Trop, and Hahn, and also Maria. With no further ado, my daughter's responses:

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Danielle, move your shoes!

2. What makes mom happy?

Reading a good book, and when she can, hang out with her children.

3. What makes mom sad?

When I disappoint her...well, when anyone she cares about disappoints her.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Tells funny stories.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

She was super quiet!

6. How old is your mom?

Soon to be...49

7. How tall is your mom?

5 feet 7 inches (ish)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

Play Scrabble

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

Wouldn't know, I'm not around.

10. If your mom became famous, what would she be famous for?

Best selling author!

11. What is your mom really good at?

Drawing, sketching, sewing, I mean double-dutch, she's good at a lot of thing.

12. What is your mom not very good at?

Sometimes is isn't the best chef.

13. What does your mom do for her job?

She does the accounting and is a manager @ a music company.

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

Not quite sure, she's on a diet. I don't know if she really likes that stuff.*

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

All of the things she has overcome in her life & her great optimism about life.

16. If mom were a cartoon character, which would she be?

mmmm...50% Marge Simpson & 50 % Rosie (from The Jetsons)

17. What do your and your mom do together?

We have traveled together. We try new foods, go to festivals and of course, we drink together.

18. How are you and your mom the same?

We look alike (well that's what other people say), we are sarcastic, which I learned from her.

19. How are you and your mom different?

I like men 99% and women 1% and she likes only women!!! hahahaha

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

She does a lot for me and my pets. If she didn't love me, she wouldn't help me and teach me. Plus, she tells me.

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

I don't know, uhm...library?!?

*I don't eat diet food, per se. I've added a wider range of fruits, vegetables, spices, and preparation methods. Many Some of these have not met with Dani's approval, so she presumes that I don't like them either. It's an adjustment, but I'm enjoying the adventure and the results!