The End? No, Somewhere in the Middle

You know about the quest. The Shrinking Piggies have come to the end of the term. I've written a brief account of the journey. As noted, this is not the end. Though I didn't achieve the goal within the term, I'm very much encouraged by what I did achieve.

I know that weight loss is inextricably tied to moving my body; walking, riding, dancing, jumping (rope), tennis . . whatever form the movement takes, moving must happen. daily.

I find it fitting that I completed this leg of the journey with 0 loss. I knew going into the weigh-in Monday morning that the 8-mile ride on Sunday would be too little, too late, for the previous six days yielded very little movement, or at least, much less than previous weeks.

The goose egg provides added incentive, and illustrates yet once again, that a body must M O V E it to L O S E it.

Simple.

Loquacious

Remember? Remember, when I made that art project for you, spelling out your name and assigning a description of you to each letter? You asked what loquacious meant and agreed that the descriptor fit you to a Tee. You were very much then, you are very much now, loquacious.


I adore your loquaciousness. True, I like peace quiet now and again however, I admit when you are not talking I grow concerned. For often times with the talking, what usually inevitably follows is that beatific smile. A really good talk-fest yields not only the beatific smile but also that snort filled guffaw. That? Love. It.



From the very beginning, dear daughter you've been a talker. Your very early mutterings weren't discernible to anyone but you, but talking you did. All. The. Time. I won't lie and say that it was always a joyful noise, but there was much joy to be had. Having you for a daughter has been a treat, and to be frank, an un-expected treasure trove of yum. I didn't know I wanted a daughter until you decided to gift me with the quintessential daughter. My, my only daughter.



Granted, we have had some trials. At least two of your teen years had my intestines twisted beyond their normal configuration. Your leaving to live with your father broke my heart, but I realized it was something you needed to do, an experience you needed to have. The move very likely saved the both of us for very different reasons.


We've survived that time. We are here to tell the tale.

The woman I see shaping before my eyes very nearly mirrors the the young woman I wish I'd been. You have a sense of self, bravado, and gumption (most of the time) that I lacked in my early twenties. You know very much who you are and what you want. I know that with diligence, fortitude, and hard work you will get to where you want to be.

You possess and flash a wisdom that beyond your years. You also possess a joyful playfulness that speaks to the exuberant child that lives within your heart. You exude life and all the glory, joy, pain, ups and downs that is life, the kaleidoscope.

The many faces of Danielle are etched forever and beyond on my mind, in my heart, and throughout my soul. Keep on smiling (and talking) my daughter, my friend.

Message to Michael

Not that Michael, but my Michael.

Some have labeled you an enigma. These folks, I trust do not know you well at all. Because, an enigma you are not. You are not a puzzlement, nor contradictory. Your goals, motives and actions are clear, at least to this trained eye.

Well, when put that way, I guess to some you may in fact, be an enigma. I can see how others might be puzzled by what they see when they meet you, what you present when they do get to know you a bit. You are not what most folks deem, typical. So, I suppose to those folks painting you with the enigma tag may seem appropriate.

You are a classic, gentle man. A talented man who found a calling and are pursuing it not only with fervor but also with sense and sensibility. A man who weathered the typical teenage storms as well as some not so typical. Much had been asked of you as the first born elder son and big brother Michael and you have delivered on every score.

Folks are quick to congratulate me, praise me for the man you have become. To my mind, I am not the one to praise, not that I'm discounting my role and my input relative to your carriage, but some credit belongs elsewhere, as you've have marvelous teachers, mentors of other stripes, and influences from a number of avenues. For your willingness and ability to glean the best of what these folks presented, to utilize the tools and resources at your disposal, I submit you deserve some credit as well.

You did the work, the traversing up each rung, I simply held the ladder in place.

How so very lucky I am to have been graced with a boy child possessed with a spirit such as yours; the light in your eyes, bright, your laughter, infectious, and your style, impeccable.

The puzzlement for me is pointed elsewhere. I am puzzled as to why and how mediocre has become the standard. I am puzzled as to why the excellence you seek to achieve is seen as a superlative. I am puzzled as to why this is seen as a-typical for so many. Given that is the case, then I guess yes, you are an enigma for some.

To me you're Michael, All-American Male, as enigmatic as apple pie. That is not to say, however that you're not a super man, for that you truly are.

So typically...you. Cheers!!

Meet Molly

This is Molly. Molly McBear. Molly hangs out (literally) in the living room. She was a dumpster dive rescue many, many years ago. Molly's greatest quality is her ability to be "every" girl-bear. As you can see, she has a style all her own.

Molly wishes everyone on this wet (in our part of the country) a happy, safe fourth.


As an aside Molly won't mind (much) if the fireworks are cancelled due to the rains. But, if they do go on, she'll roll with it, she's that kinda girl-bear.

Culmination or Gay Themed Week in Review

The week began with a trip to Chinatown, where I met up with some lesbian adventurers to partake of a Chinese dim sum brunch. It was my first foray into the land of dim sum and I found it to be both adventuresome and fun, much like the company.

After work on Tuesday I trekked to the north end of town to attend an open mic hosted by a local bookstore. The event, booked as an annual pride celebration featured some GLBTQ authors. A few of the dim sum adventurers were in attendance as were some others from the group that I had yet to meet.

Among the notable lines were, all I want for breakfast is coffee and sex, coffee and sex, coffee and sex and Do I touch her deeper than the surface of her pleasure?* We heard one author pondering what she'd do if she had a Harley and yet another read from his book detailing his stripper days . Needless to say it was both adventuresome and fun, much like the company.

Chicago's 40th Annual Pride parade was held this past Sunday. Yours truly was one of the tens of thousands in attendance. I was to meet with one of the women from the group (we'd arranged the get together following the reading, while schmoozing and noshing on pita chips, hummus, grape leaves and wine) who has attended the last several years, securing the 'perfect' parade viewing spot. There was also talk of a trip to the beach.

As it happens I didn't meet up with my new friend J until after the parade, but never fear. I was in the company of some fabulous folks who shared Bloody Marys, vodka and cranberry concoctions, and more. We danced, laughed, competed for beads and other parade 'swag' and had a party hearty good time.

I met J after the parade. We walked about the neighborhood still buzzing with energetic gay pride-filled folks. After a bit of dinner and a little more walking to further soak in the ambiance we parted ways, both looking forward to the next opportunity to meet.

Though I never made it to the beach, the parade and all related experiences capped a week of amazingly true adventures of this nearly 49 year-old, rather newbie lesbian.

*oddly enough there was no microphone at the open mic, so I didn't hear all the introductions, otherwise I certainly would credit the two authors referenced here.

Night, Day and Night Again

Last night we suffered our first power outage of the summer season. Earlier in the day a storm had torn through town, ripping up trees and though I hadn't heard specifically, I presume some lines were downed in the process.

I suspect that the various crews cleaning up the aftermath of the summer storm factored in the big boom and then...pfft. No electricity. No lights. No computer. No TV. It was still light when the power failed, so I decided to go for a bike ride. One to exert some energy and two, to survey the extent of the outage, if I could.

The ride around town and into a neighboring village revealed that though sporadic, the outage was extensive. Several blocks in one direction dark while the next several not, then dark and then, not. The last leg of ride home was in total darkness, street lights out and only businesses with alternative sources of power (McD's) operating. Our building was dark, save the emergency lights. Once back inside I find Danielle gone. She does not do well without her creature comforts, I'm with Blythe, they have electricity, I'm charging my phone so went a subsequent conversation.

So, I'm alone with the D dog and "the boys." The boys, as you might imagine took to being in near total darkness in stride. I think Buttah was more bothered by the heat than the dark. I found out on the ride that temps were still in the upper 80's range. D dog was particularly skittish. Barking at every sound and finding it hard to settle down. She tended to stay even closer.

I settled in for a long night, the power company estimated restoration of power around 2 AM. Gathering my power outage survival kit, tuning the radio to a local classical music station, enjoying a couple (or more) of cold ones and later engaging in a little inebriated, power outage texting and LOLing with a friend.

Today has been a typical summer day. Sunny, temps in the upper 80's with a heat index making it feel like 90 or more. Thunder and severe storm warnings have been issued for some areas of the state as have flood warnings (there has been a hella rain round these parts). It is my hope the fixes hold and we don't lose power again. If we do, I have fresh(er) batteries and more...provisions.

And oh, by the way, the power was restored at three this morning and for the record I don't have A/C. Danielle has a window unit in her bedroom, but I make do with a box and ceiling fans. And going without a shirt.

Hot fun in the summertime.

June. Pride.

Three years ago this month I told the blog community that I was a Lesbian. I'm happy and quite proud of that fact. I. Am. A. Lesbian. That said, this June...this month of P R I D E, only a few days away from Chicago's celebratory festival and parade, hasn't been the UP-filled time I was hoping for.


A year ago, June Neta was arriving and then she was here. We attended the parade (my first ever) and had a glorious time before, during, and well after. We visited the next few days, dropping in on the Taste of Chicago, nearly melting in the sweltering heat, but cooling with a delectable Rainbow cone. She was in my town, in my condo, in my arms. Last year when she departed, I fully expected we'd repeat all of that, and then some this year.




But here we are this year, no longer a couple, no plans to visit. No, . . . just, no.


Anyhoo, I didn't expect to be lulled so completely and utterly into the splendor of love. But, because I was and my focus was on building and nurturing that love, I didn't have much of a chance to explore much beyond that long-distance relationship. Now with that gone, I'm back where I was three years ago June.



Well, not exactly. The time and experience have had an affect.


Still, I consider myself newbie with a community to explore, experiences to . . . experience.


Toward that end I have became a joiner this year. In addition to the walking group, which is not (much) of a social vehicle, I joined Thrifty Queer Adventurers, and Lesbians in Movieland, just to name two. There are other groups (and invites to others still) revolved around my various interests. Some are more active than others. Some offer events that are more to my liking than the others. All offer an opportunity to get out and explore, and to not be solo while doing so.




I will also continue to attend the monthly Woman Like Me meetings whenever I can, because they help me and I think might offer an opportunity for me to help someone else.



So, this June, though there is a a tremendous void in my life, around my heart, I'm out there, exploring and experiencing...the city, the gay and lesbian community, and more of myself. No, I am not as UP this June, but I'm more OUT.