Eating In

Eating is good. Eating is...fun. Heck, eating is fundamental.

Lunch at the office is not a particularly inspired affair. It is in place to keep the tummy from revolting and thus, interrupting the flow as I dutifully execute my tasks. Lunch usually consists of variations of a theme. The theme these days being low fat, low sodium and due to gym time and lunch time, fast and easy. I try to limit usage of the office micro-wave, for a variety of reasons, so you may find me noshing on one or more of some kind of salad, tuna or salmon, fruit, cottage cheese, tortillas and with all respect to Bent, Triscuits or some multi-grain crackers.

Sometimes I like to eat, heat. In that I like a warm meal. Going out to eat at one of the nearby eateries is not an option. The recourse is to nuke leftovers brought from home. I have a 24 year old eating machine at home, leftovers are few and far between. The other option is to nuke a frozen entree. Given the sodium and fat concerns and considering the yucky factor, few options exist.

Some varieties of Lean Cuisine fit the bill, or are at least passable.

I opened my LC, Lemon Chicken entree, nuked and went to dig in, when I saw something that didn't look like seasoning. It appeared to be a hair. I promptly tossed the meal and dug out some crackers.

Later, I fired off a letter to the LC customer service. Julia, the rep assigned to my case, called.

Julia apologized profusely for the inconvenience of finding a hair in my meal. She wanted to to know and believe that sanitary standards are of the highest, they do their best to...blah blah blah.
Yes, I understood, but still...

Ms. Julia blathered on and on about the standards and then she asked questions.

How long was the hair?
What color was the hair?
Where in the meal was the hair-was it on top or embedded?
Did it appear to be a human hair?

Uhm, I don't know, not too long--long enough to be seen.
Huh? Oh, I think black-it was dark.
It. Was. On. Top. (Otherwise, I might not have seen it --ick.)
I DON'T KNOW! My Bill Nye Science Guy kit is on backorder.

Julia apologize some more. She promised me some coupons to, you know, further apologize and to show LC's appreciation for my patronage.

I thanked Julia, telling her I understood.

Coupons for more? I think, not.