Friday, September 22, 2006

Eating In

Eating is good. Eating Heck, eating is fundamental.

Lunch at the office is not a particularly inspired affair. It is in place to keep the tummy from revolting and thus, interrupting the flow as I dutifully execute my tasks. Lunch usually consists of variations of a theme. The theme these days being low fat, low sodium and due to gym time and lunch time, fast and easy. I try to limit usage of the office micro-wave, for a variety of reasons, so you may find me noshing on one or more of some kind of salad, tuna or salmon, fruit, cottage cheese, tortillas and with all respect to Bent, Triscuits or some multi-grain crackers.

Sometimes I like to eat, heat. In that I like a warm meal. Going out to eat at one of the nearby eateries is not an option. The recourse is to nuke leftovers brought from home. I have a 24 year old eating machine at home, leftovers are few and far between. The other option is to nuke a frozen entree. Given the sodium and fat concerns and considering the yucky factor, few options exist.

Some varieties of Lean Cuisine fit the bill, or are at least passable.

I opened my LC, Lemon Chicken entree, nuked and went to dig in, when I saw something that didn't look like seasoning. It appeared to be a hair. I promptly tossed the meal and dug out some crackers.

Later, I fired off a letter to the LC customer service. Julia, the rep assigned to my case, called.

Julia apologized profusely for the inconvenience of finding a hair in my meal. She wanted to to know and believe that sanitary standards are of the highest, they do their best to...blah blah blah.
Yes, I understood, but still...

Ms. Julia blathered on and on about the standards and then she asked questions.

How long was the hair?
What color was the hair?
Where in the meal was the hair-was it on top or embedded?
Did it appear to be a human hair?

Uhm, I don't know, not too long--long enough to be seen.
Huh? Oh, I think black-it was dark.
It. Was. On. Top. (Otherwise, I might not have seen it --ick.)
I DON'T KNOW! My Bill Nye Science Guy kit is on backorder.

Julia apologize some more. She promised me some coupons to, you know, further apologize and to show LC's appreciation for my patronage.

I thanked Julia, telling her I understood.

Coupons for more? I think, not.


  1. I'm so glad we have a picky-eater-child at home. Court and I always have delicious left-overs to dine on for lunch.

    Enjoyed the photos in your earlier post. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Anonymous8:12 AM


  3. Ewwwww. One more reason to stay away from LC. Seriously, their food always leaves a funky taste in my mouth, and I'm with you on the sodium content.

  4. I'm completely done eating that particular meal when I find a hair. To this day, I can barely say, "turkey pot pie" without gagging.

  5. if I had a kitchen, I would never eat out, or anything but fresh food.......

  6. Eh, Send me the coupons... those frozen meals are pretty much all I eat.

    I figure... how many meals do they make every day?

    How many have hair in them?

    How many of my dog's hairs are going to be in there anyway by the time I have carried the meal from the microwave to my couch?

  7. Pardon me while I go and barf. Not just on account of the hair, but the Triscuit as well. ;)

  8. Yigh, there is just something about finding a stranger's hair isn't there! It is a sure-fire way to trigger my ick reflex.


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