She Might be There

There she was, out of the blue, out of the past. Standing there all vivid and sparkling. Damn, she looks good. What is she, 54 now? She looks 35, short sporty hair, bright funky attitude. Trouble in the check-out line.

Seeing her now, remembering the time, brings it all back; the confusion, the energy, the moment that never came-never could.

She was into guys, I was supposed to be, trying to be-married to he. She was married too, but also had nibbles on the side. She was way into guys. Yet, she made me warm.

Before saying out good-byes, following the chit-chat, I invited her to email me, again. She said she would. I know that she won't. She never has before. She doesn't welcome women into her circle-too afraid they're after her men. I'm no threat, which I would tell her, now, if she gave me a shot.

But, it's better this way. Extreme physical attraction aside, she's not an option. She was a fantasy.

My energy is better spent perusing the profiles scattered about the in-box; 'Hello, I am a lesbian female who is looking for disease free, serious lesbian women only-no men please!! An Aries, with a slender, average, athletic, fit or thick body type; with an explorer, idealist, leader or giver personality type; who loves being aggressive and submissive, who is between the ages of 26-42 and who is 5' 4" to 7' 11" tall.'

I'm not a man and I think I could be agressive and submissive. I am older than her criteria nor am I an Aries, but deal breakers, she didn't specify.

Seeing her on Friday served to help turn this into one long, restless, frustrating week-end. The wet weather was a welcomed diversion.