Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Memo First Draft

To: Management of Building --Where Deborah toils.

From: Toiling Deborah

Re: TP ( Toilet Paper )

Sirs, Madams, Drones; the women's room, you know the only one, the locked one, the one with 4 stalls and 2 sinks, on the third floor, that serves, at last count, uhm let's see....ONE female, yes, that one, the women's room has been without toilet paper for the past several days.

I know that Ishmael is aware. I told him and he must have noticed because the mopping supplies are in a closet, inside the women's room. He mopped yesterday.

Now, I know that times are tough. I know that some corners had to be cut.

Given the state of the economy and the pinch you must be feeling, I must admit some shock and awe at the distribution of the space heaters. I'm here to tell you that my elbows and toes are eternally grateful for the whoosh of warmth.

However, if a choice must be made, I'd gladly broker a trade. You can have my portable heat, for a few rolls of Charmin, Cottonelle, hell heck, you could pass on some Bounty.

Your consideration is much appreciated.

Best Regards,
Toiling Female Tenant Office Suite 3B


  1. Why is that womens toilets never have a toilet paper in, but mens do ? Also, why is there always a line of chicks outside the ladies toilet, and never the mens?

    Im so confused, if I could aim and spray, I'd go into the mens too ;-)

    Kisses toiling Deborah xXxXxXxXx

  2. Good Grief!!!

    No Toilet Paper?? Shish.

    speaking of TP, I'm starting to reapeat my "coming out chronicals" ea day..

  3. roflmao perhaps you could go do your business in Ishmaels cleaning closet....that might just remind him!!! Sorry I know that's really gross but it just popped in my head and, well....sometimes the filter from my brain to my fingertips gets a short and stuff like that comes out!!!

    Hope the memo is duly acknowledged and worked upon post haste!!!

  4. You just need to keep a roll at your desk and take it with you.

    Of course, that means that you'd kind of be announcing where you were going to the whole office every time you headed to take a wee.

    Like those damn executives who have to announce to the world what they are about to do by grabbing the newspaper from the break room before heading into the bathroom (a whole other world of yuck that I don't want to talk about when they PUT IT BACK AFTER!)

    Maybe a purse-sized roll would be better.

  5. In this world of toilet paper strife I must pass on a bright and hopeful moment to help balance things out! Yesterday my 4 year old came to me and said "Mom come look what I have done in the bathroom!" Now for a mom of a 4 year old that statement can send fear into even in most brave parental heart. I went bravely to discover as she did her best Vanna White impression that she had changed the toilet paper roll! She, a 4 year old, had managed to accomplish what a lifetime of grown up I have known could or would never do!

    So there is hope! One day she could grow up and take over Ishmael's job and you will again have toilet paper in your workplace!

  6. Anonymous2:16 PM

    Hey middle girl thanks for stopping by my blog...I've seen you over at my sis boo7. So this is where you hang out huh? **looking around**

    Yeah, I am a little paranoid about getting stuck with no tp. At my work I've just gone ahead and brought my own 4pack and kept it under the sink.

  7. Anonymous2:23 PM

    I liked your 100 things...short and to the point!

    Control enthusiast

    Very well put lol, me too :-)

  8. Mad: Questions for the universe. My daughter-has often used the mens room. In the general public-I would never. In our office building, I might, if I had the key.

    Kmae: my sentiments exactly.
    Thanks for the heads up.

    boo7: no worries-feel free to spew away. I've thought about delivering something on Mr. Ish.

    this girl: Good idea. I carry tissues (like Kleenex).

    afuntanilla: Yup! and counting

    nina: LOL! I know exactly what you mean, when a 4 y.o. *announces* anything especially where the bathroom or kitchen are prepared for anything. Here's hoping !!

    Trish: you are welcome & thanks right back atcha.

  9. Oh I think I'd have to go take it out of the men's room!


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