Tuesday, November 14, 2006


WMS? Women Must Sing? No.
WMS? Wild Monkey Stew? No.
WMS? Where's My Stuff? Bingo.

Jack calls and asks,"where's my stuff?" Before I can address Jack's question there is a question or two of my own to pose, like the purchase order number, billing name or zip code for the billing address. Jack will rarely know the purchase order number and often has difficulty either remembering or relaying simple factoids like a zip code.

Customers call. They call with a query, a concern or all-out problem. Hardly ever does a customer call to say, "hey!" or even, "I think you guys are doing a great job!" No, customers have problems. I get that call and it is my responsibility to solve that problem, no matter what.

I am no longer in the day-to-day trenches of incoming customer service. My responsibilities beyond debt collection, bookkeeping and other office management functions are to plug in missing spots and to be the voice of authority when a matter escalates. There are customers for whom blue is not blue or 'the last straw' is a regular emotional register.

Jacks often thwart their own goals by failing to offer accurate and/or logical information. Jacks feel that providing just jack is sufficient data to pull up their order.

Efficient and effective customer servicing requires knowledge of the company's products and processes, a calm and diplomatic demeanor and above all else the ability to stifle the exasperated sigh. Jack will certainly test a service representative's command of the situation.

Jack was asked to confirm his email address:
He replies: J as in um, um, J-ump, P as in um, um, um F-one
Jack, I'm sorry, was that B as in B-one?
I see, that was P as in P-aul? "Yes! P as in P-eople!
Jack's email address is eventually confirmed as jpratt@stopme.org

Fanatical customer service is not a single act. It is a habit practiced every minute of every day.

Jacks command nothing less.


  1. Oh man! I used to work at an Incoming 800 number . Ginsu Knives? Yep, that was me! Toocheaptobereal Life Insurance info? Me! Pretend cocaine from the back of nudie mags? Me again!

    The general population was worth at least one head shake a shift. I had to fight with some people who refused to give me their zips first even though my computer wouldn't let me go ahead until I did. Some people asked where I was located and I would tell them "Utah" and they would say is that part of the USA?" And then there was the time I was accused of being a government spy. Remember these people called ME.

    LOL! Still I was expected to keep my call down until 59 seconds so the company didn't have to pay for 2 minutes of long distance. Most of the time I did and got their goods to them in 6 to 8 weeks.

    Good times, good times!

  2. Jacks feel that providing just jack is sufficient data to pull up their order LMAO Well said. Jacks are certainly a pain in the ass.

  3. Anonymous7:56 PM

    Fab post!
    BTW? Best Tonsils Win? No.
    BTW? Barf Towards Window? No.
    BTW? By Thy Way, what did Jack order, that he was so eager to get his mittens on? :)

  4. I don't know Jack.
    I'm grateful.

  5. nina: I bow down to a queen of cs-800 numbers -whew- Ginsu baby!

    wen: yeah, Jacks are indeed a pain there and more

    little blue: lol. This jack ordered chalkboards.

    wordsrock: Jacks come in many shapes and industries-one might be lurking-keep watch. :)

  6. Jack-ass! Jack-bag! Jack-weed!

    I always try to let customer service reps know when they've been helpful, on the phone or in person. If I'm really impressed I'll let their managers know.

  7. I could never do your job! I would tell them where to go in less than 15 seconds.

  8. Bent: you're a Jill. Jills are chill and waaaay cooler than Jacks.

    sober: years and years of practice and motherhood..keep me focused besides I don't have to deal with Jacks everyday.


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