New Year, Same Me

 

Well, not 100% the same, but mostly.  

Wednesday, January 1st looked a lot like Tuesday, December 31st.  

But, there is a shift, of sorts.  A change toward developing (or rather, re-developing) more positive habits toward more positive goals and outcomes.  

We are seduced by the "new" in Happy New Year! Or, I should speak for myself.  "I" am seduced.  

Or, should I be? 

I feel an urge, but not a sense of urgency. 

But, I do.  

Kind of.  

New Year, same me.  

Cheers! 

Junio

 

We are six days into this new month and I've already lost a day.  All day Thursday I was operating under the premise that is was only Wednesday.  This, in and of itself, wasn't an epic proportion tragedy. It has presented more like an annoyance that the work stuff (tasks I set up to get stuff done in accordance to pre-determined schedules and deadlines) was now off which undoubtedly impact the off-the-clock task list and schedule.  

Otherwise, June has gone as expected; it has been hot, noisy (thanks to Memorial Day fireworks, motorcycles, bikes, four-wheelers, blaring car stereos, and of course, kids playing) and reflective.  

The half-year mark is kind of a natural point of looking back as well as looking forward.  Looking back, goals established at the beginning of the year have not been fully met. Some daily goal benchmarks were met but clearly not consistently or urgently enough as the expected results are missing.  

So, looking forward: Reset.   

The plan, I believe, was a good plan, but I need to be more consistent and approach each day with a bit more urgency toward reaching and achieving.  

Cheers to June.  Here's to the days and weeks ahead.  

  

One Year in Three Weeks

 My new favorite candy is Giant Reese's Peanut Butter Cups stuffed with pretzels.   I have only had one and given my new life goals, one is all I'll have for some time to come but I thought that you should know that I have a new favorite.  

However, I have not yet tasted the Mocha Chocolate KitKats.  On the face of it, that candy stands an excellent chance of becoming my favorite. But, again, given my new life goals I likely will not know for some time the potential of Mocha Chocolate KitKats moving into the favored role.  And again, I thought that you should know. 

Oh, by the way, new life goals are really old life goals that took a hiatus and are now back front and center.  You all probably know the drill, labs came back indicating yada x3, medical professionals advises certain actions and changes yada x3 and so the journey is re-booted and continues.  These last few weeks have been a trial to say the least.  The net results however, positive.  

Onward. Forward.  

I am sure you've notice I haven't spoken of THE events of the last few weeks / days.  Some made me extremely angry and anxious while others made me extremely happy and hopeful. 

H A P P Y NEW  Y E A R!!   HOPE FILLED NEW  D A Y!!!  

Looking Back

#Microblog Monday

If you'll recall, his time tlast year I was struggling to get through the Mandala prompts. And as recent posts relay, I'm still working to complete the 31 prompts. Number 24 (Desire here I come.) I was also frustrated over the sounds of silence from a particular person. Later in the year I lamented over the loss of a friend.. The friend and a particular person, same.

Silence, still.

Going back to January two years ago, my dad had died the previous September, it was cold and well, There is much going around these parts, most of which I have yet to truly wrap around my head and wear it brightly. I'm worried about a some friends. I'm distressed over job, work issues. I'm fearful for my mom. I am harried, heckled, haunted, and hounded much.

I ended post on a positive tip, trying to walk toward the very faint flow at the end of the tunnel.

Well, that light was doused when my mother died within a month of that post.

And now, looking back over 2013 and 2014 combined there were certainly more low points than high Despite my determination to find that silver lining around every single dark cloud; I tried to keep my spirits high, the creativity flowing, and life moving forward.

More than anything I tried mighty hard not to wallow.

Some days I wallowed. Some days I wallow, still. .

Yet, I look back to look forward; to finish what I start, to create opportunities to c-r-e-a-t-e to embrace my memories, to be present and to rev the engine as needed.

Obese

Jillian Michaels said, "let's face it, you're obese!" I wasn't offended. I invited her opinion. I'd voluntarily gone to her website, filled out the questionnaire, and invited her to opine on my status and perhaps advice as to what I should might be less . .  (didn't / don't consider myself obese, but . . . ) less large.

Disclosure: I've never watched "The Biggest Loser".  I know of it due to it's (and by association, her) popularity and the show and / or contestants showing up in mainstream media from time to time; most recently, the criticism of a victor's extreme weight loss. I didn't really consider that I'd become a member of the BL bandwagon, I was just curious as to what her program would offer me for free and if that were anything different from what I could get elsewhere.

It wasn't.

The basic message was take in less, burn more: calories. 

Intellectually, I know this. Emotionally, I get it. As most of us know, it is much easier said than done.

I've been up and down this road these last few years. Most recently, I admit, more down and up

However, been there, done that, must do it again. Re-booting the campaign. I must. I not only huff and puff about the way I look, but huff and puff about the way I feel. I don't like the huffing and puffing.

So, with no thanks or offense to Jillian and her crew's program,  I will get back to what has worked in the past, tweaking to allow for my advanced age and other . . . advancements. Thankfully, time has come to get outside, get Melody out from under the stairs and on the road.  Adjustment to my diet began in earnest last week with further adjustments on tap for this week and beyond.

The loss won't be epic. It won't be quick. It certainly won't be easy. But, I will have measurable success.My emotional and physical health depends on some measure of success.

Goal set. Clock begun. Wheels turning.And a weigh we  go.

Scratch

Observations, realizations, and such on my journey to svelte:
a. svelte? Hah! Remember, make reasonable goals.
b. It’s a lifestyle, not a diet
c. Potato chips taste better than any fruit or vegetable.
d. Still, I love fruits and veggies.Love them! Sometimes, though chips and the like are just easier. The call me, really, they do. D-e-b-o-r-a-h I tell ya, call me.

Gah!

e. I love to eat. Yum. I love food. Mountains of food.
f. Generally I’m a planner, but I've noticed difficulty in planning meals & the necessary shopping. Again, with the shopping.

Gah!

g. Portion control is a HUGE issue for me. Mounds of food. Smaller plates help, if I break the plate immediately after the first helping.

h.Resolve has the shelf life of lukewarm dairy products.
i. Tracking food: daily calories, water in-take, servings of fruits/veggies is a major PITA.
j. but these things and more MUST be done if I want to REACH my goals.

K. As you may have noticed this list addresses the “diet” side of the equation. The exercise portion is a constant up and down battle for me as well. I can say without hesitation that the only exercise I enjoy is bike riding. That, I can do without any pre-text, rationalization or justification. That, I will have to get over as obviously, I cannot ride my bike for 12 months, not in the conventional sense, anyway. When I don’t have bike riding, I struggle to maintain any kind of exercise regularity. I repeat,


Gah!

The journey begun 2 years ago has stalled a few times. I get on a pretty good roll and then get distracted, side-tracked, tired, bored, or whatever…I lose ground and re-gain the weight I’d lost and then some. So, here I am, exactly where I was this time last year except, now I have a couple years worth of advice, education and tools at my disposal.

The journey begins anew. My annual physical is four months away. I expect to be housing a considerably different, read smaller, closer to svelte body when that date arrives. So it shall be written. So it shall be done.

Don't pass the chips. Kill all the chips!

Gah!

Seconds Minutes Hours

Here we are in 2007. I have crept ever so gingerly into this new year. In these 3 going into the fourth full day, I’ve probably logged 15 hours of sleep. Starting the new year with a visit from my least favorite aunt, I’m sure has been hampering my sleep, focus, and the anxiousness that has crowded me like post holiday shoppers.

While the calendar has flipped, not much is different for me. I’m operating on a fiscal year. My year really began last June. Since that time, I have increased my on-line presence. I’ve made some really wonderful connections. Friends. I will continue to work to cultivate those relationships as they have become precious to me. Ladies,(you know who) you are truly the greatest!

I registered with a few on-line meeting sites with the purpose of meeting women-lesbian women who were interested in friendship, leading to relationship. Some progress has been made The plan is to get out more socially on a local front as well. Hope remains.Work continues.

Joining a gym last year opened up another realm of realizations for me. That continues.

As you may imagine, my hopes, dreams, desires, are tied to those of my son and daughter. The appearance of 2007 is somewhat bittersweet, in that, I’ve been warned that Michael will move out this year, quite possibly by Spring. While pleased for his level of success that will allow that progression-I will miss his face, humor and wet towels. I do, however look forward to receiving letters and phone calls from him and having him over for spaghetti. He loves spaghetti. I don’t know what the year will bring for him with regard to his theatrical or writing pursuits. I do know that he will continue to work hard and be at his best. That is just the kind of guy he is.

Danielle began a new job in the last quarter of 2006. She’s had some excellent days and some not so. She enjoys being around the dogs, not so much the cats, but she’s getting used to handling them. Lately, the talk has turned to classes. She’d like to pursue real estate as a career. Research, work and quite possibly a trip or two to the mall will be in order, I’m sure.

My mom’s health status is becoming more and more a concern. She receives excellent care on the medicinal front. The psychological is suspect. More intervention may be warranted. The progressive lack of mobility will necessitate some serious choices in the coming months.
.
Many strides have been made, there are more to come. There are projects galore in home, towards that end some opportunity to obtain some new skills spark enthusiastic pistons.

Some interesting and exciting adventures are on the horizon. It is my continued desire to pursue as many of them as possible. If I were to adopt a mantra, it would probably sound something like, keep on keeping on.

Or...it’s time for bed you ninny–get some sleep.

Short and Sweet

Is there anything sweeter, than working an 8-hour shift, walking the 2 miles to the PTG, getting there on time and ahead of the bus you would have taken?

Yes! Stopping for White Chocolate Delectable Delicacies, from the Chicago Chocolate Company café, and getting it at a discount.

No, I didn’t stop for the treat, I’m on a diet, remember? But it was a sweet thought. Walking past the café is torture, but we must test ourselves, right?