The Threes of Me (2016)

A "getting to know you list: in sets of three: 

Three names I go by: 

1. Deborah 

2. Ma 

3. Miss Debbie 

Three jobs I have had in my life: 

1. Medical Biller 

2. Bookkeeper / Office Administrator 

3. Recruiter 

Three places I have lived: 

1. Franklin Blvd.  

2. Parnell Ave

3. Ridgeway Ave

Three Favorite* Drinks (author's note: not necessarily in this order.): 

1. Banana Basil Milkshake

2. Pineapple, Blueberry, Banana Smoothie

3. Martini (vodka w/habanero stuffed olives) 

Three TV shows that I watch (in real time) : 

1. Scandal

2. How To Get Away With Murder 

3. American Ninja Warrior 

Three TV shows that I watch (OnDemand)  : 

1, Rosemary and Thyme 
2. A Chef's Life
3. Black-ish

Three Places I have Been: 

1. Las Vegas, NV 

2. Dyer, IN  

3. Houston, TX  

Three people who e-mail/FB me regularly: 

1.Danielle 

2. Addie 

3. Rose

Three of my favorite* restaurants: 

1.Nando's Peri Peri 

2. Kinderhook Tap  

3. Melting Pot 

Three sets of 3 things I hate: 

1. criminal acts, injustice, speeders 

2. beets, black eye peas, okra 

3. losing things, wasteful acts, inadequate coverage of women's sports 

Three of my favorite cars (that I've owned): 

1. Toyota Camry

2. Dodge Lancer

3. Oldsmobile Delta 88 

Three favorite* websites: 

1. Elixher 

2. Mail Me Some Art 

3. Longreads

*I am not a fan of favorite anything;.using the term under duress and / or for the sake of efficiency.

Tell me 3 things about you (from the above list or random). 

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It's Official!

My "little girl" as my mother would say, is leaving. 

After deciding on culinary arts as a career, a year of school, 

and a nother couple of years of trying on a number of hats 

in and around Chicago, 

she has applied for, and has been accepted entry to a 

work / study program that will take her to resorts in Colorado 

and then, Wyoming. 

For the next two years. 

She will report to the Colorado location by November 7th. She will be there five months. 

She will have 30 days before she has to report to the Wyoming location, a moth home
and then back to Colorado.  . 

Except for a brief stint during her teen years 

and small vacations, my daughter has not ever 

been away from home.  

WE are excited (and nervous) in equal measure.
No, more excited than nervous. 

Danielle has prepared for the opportunity 

and is ready for this challenge. She is ready to 

take the wheel and steer the course of her career
and her life.    

I am sad at the prospect of her leaving. I am happy

she is getting to earn while she learns at not one, but two resort properties. 

I am proud that she's developed the confidence to 

take this leap. 

We have three months to drink it all in. 

Cheers! 

Congratulations to my only daughter!

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Birthday Weakend

Obviously, mom was a big part of every one of my birthday celebrations until . . . 

And I'll take with me the memories

To be my sunshine after the rain

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And obviously, she is missed. 

After three years it isn't necessarily easier, but it isn't any harder.  

The memory of her enthusiasm and her smile carried me through. 

I am now beyond the half-way mark of the fifties.  
News of a big change was delivered this weekend. .  

Boom. 

It shall remain hard to say goodbye to yesterday. 

#MicroBlog Monday 
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One and Done

miss my what da duck shirt

The FB "On This Day" feature popped with another note from 2009. Folks were forever tagging me to complete some kind of, "facts of your life" Q and A. Some I completed. Most I let walk on by. The deal with One and Done is: one word responses.  So, I give you 07/19 One and Done 2009 responses in black bold and 2016 responses in red. 

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocket  Charger 

2. Your significant other? gone  Memory 

3. Your har? curly Short 

4. Your mother? debilitating  Died 

5. Your father? solved Buried

6. Your favorite? omlette Fritatta

7. Your dream last night? forgotten Broken

8. Your favorite drink? changing Chilled

9. Your dream/goal? renovation Solvency

10. What room you are in? living  Bed

11. Your hobby? stuff  Printing

12. Your fear? drowning  Bridges 

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? aware Present

14. Where were you last night? home Condo

15. Something you are not? angry Chipper

16. Muffins? fat Flavorful

17. Wish list item? power Fixtures 

18. Where you grew up? around City

19. Last thing you did? t-y-p-e Drank

20. What are you wearing? duck Socks

21. Your TV? on Warm 

22. Your pets? hairy Conspiring 

23. Friends? golden  Interesting 

24. Your life? evolving Rumbling

25. Your mood? improved Pensive

26. Missing someone? affirmative Completely

27. Car? bus No

28. Something you're not wearing? perfume Shoes

29. Your favorite store? Goodwill Discount

30. Your favorite color? blues Purples

31. When is the last time you laughed? present Yesterday

32. Last time you cried? yesterday Today

33. Who will resend this? someone Nadie*

34. One place that I go to over and over? grocery Laundrymat

35. One person who emails me regularly? Rose Danielle
36. My favorite place to eat? home: H-O-M-E

*Spanish for no one . 

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Just One of the Thirty Things

On July 16, 2009 a blog friend who no longer blogs tagged me in a note on FB: 30 Things No One Knows About Me. The "On This Day" feature on FB reminded me of the post--which was the first time I'd re-read the responses. I reflected on the answers then and thought about how I might answer now and found that in most cases there was no change in my responses. In at least one case, there was. Question Number 30

30. Do you believe in angels and demons? 2009 No. 

2016: Well, not in the the heaven and hell sense of angels and demons. However, I do believe there are supremely good forces at work in our universe. If there is good energy there must also be bad. The energy these past several weeks has been supremely bad. It is time to turn. May the good energy force be with us.  

#MicroBlog Monday.  click for more :-) 

Earwor Symphony

Hello yeah, it's been awhile

Not much, how 'bout you

I'm not sure why I called

I guess I really just wanted 

to talk to you. 

And I was thinking maybe later on

We could get together for a while

It's been such a long time 

And I really do miss your smile 

So, this song  has been in my mind off an on over the past several weeks, surprised to realize I even knew the lyrics after all these years. I don't remember liking the song (especially) when it was popular. 

What song is swimming about your head these days? 

Anyhoo.... here's to Monday. 

#MicroBlogMonday

At What Point . .

 . . . does staying indoors as a result of being an introvert become something else like . . hermitism?

Or what does the beginnings of agoraphobia look like? Feel like? My mom suffered from agoraphobia. The manifestation was extremely present during my teen years. She was unable to go outdoors for the most part and suffered severe bouts of anxiety at the prospect of same. When did that begin? Or was it always a thing that got progressively worse?

Medications and therapy quieted the anxieties to a point where she was able to function. But of course, being anxious was always part of her being.

While I am not feeling particularly social these days, I am also not feeling particularly anxious at the prospect of being outdoors, among people, in social interactive situations. Nor am I feeling particularly anxious over not feeling particularly social and deciding to stay in over taking myself out to a movie, or brunch, or even the grocery store.

Is what I'm experiencing the introverted me being spent over the daily social interactive experiences by the time the weekend rolls around?

Or . . . . ?

just kinda thinking outloud

           

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Day Before, Day After, Each and Every . . Pride

My First Parade Image Capture

A year ago yesterday, the White House and other sites were bathed in Rainbow Lights in celebration of the Marriage Equality ruling. How sweet that memory is in light of the news over the past year, especially over the past couple of weeks. 

My daughter, who has recently come out as bi-sexual, wrote me a card . . 

June 2016 

" . . . . I want to wish you a Happy Pride! Being yourself is so important in the whole scheme of things! I'm happy that you're happy and taking Pride in who you are, . . . "

Chicago's Pride parade was yesterday. One Million expected attendance meant there would about 999, 990 too many bodies for me, so mine wasn't there and because of work, my daughter wasn't there. 

Still, our  

Pride Runs Deep

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Melody Spoke

T O D (aka Middle Girl) and I have been spending a bit more time together. It is still exclusively weekend days for now. But soon, hopefully a weekday or two can factor into the mix.

It feels good to be able to help T O D get her rolls on. Though I do feel like she's struggling to achieve a nice and easy rotation, a glorious glide. A few more times out should help that. Right? I'm hoping. I do so enjoy being out and about.

Our little jaunts have taken us to the library, post office, parks, and a grocery store. It is the grocery store I take issue with. Well, not the store,.they were nice and caring enough to install a rack for the two-wheelers. but look, just LOOK at how some person parked their . . Billy? Jack? I didn't know his name, but LOOK at THAT!?!

I admit, I was angry for a moment but I recovered and found a spot to nestle my frame there, on the end. It was fine. I didn't even mind the sun as there was a pretty nice breeze. T O D came out with more bags than I thought I cold carry. But, I did swell. It turned out to be a glorious outing.

Here's to rolling along.

#MicroBlogMonday 

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Hazy Days

Three years ago this month I was laid off from my job, still reeling from my mother's death a few months prior. I'd been with the family of companies since 1979. In that time I married, had (and raised) two kids, got divorced, came out as a lesbian, had relationships with two women, came out as atheist, sat with my mother during her last week, last seconds....

In other words, lived a life. And then part of it, a big part, was suddenly over. Well, not so sudden, I'd read the writings on the walls. The company had fallen on hard times and ownership mis-manged away all of our futures.

So, a shift was in order. A re-building, re-branding. The last three years have been among the most challenging of my 56. And let me tell you, I've had some challenging years. But, having said that, I sit here today . . .

Photo: Facebook

"When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you."  ~author unknown. 

able to say, able to be . . stronger.  May peace be with the family and friends (and all of us, really) affected by the Orlando massacre.  
Equality Florida established a donation site. 

#MicroBlog Monday  

Today, We'll Change Tomorrow

The United State of Woment Summit

June: Not Too Soon

 The first full weekend of June has come and gone without much fanfare. The weather was mostly agreeable, some chore were done, some Melody time was had, some rest was achieved  . What didn't occur this first weekend in June was the journey to Chicago's famed Hyde Park neighborhood for the world famous 57th Street Art Fair. 

bygone days sketchbook

I look forward to this fair every year. I had the calendar marked, I had an alert set.  I love the event for the location, the eclectic and charged atmosphere, the fact that it is early enough in the season where it isn't too hot so the walking is mostly agreeable.In many ways it is the event of the season.  

Yet, I didn't go. Despite the excitement over the idea, even as I had a pang of nostalgia for a visit two years ago and I discovered she didn't have work, even as art fairs is one of a few venues I don't mind attending alone, I didn't go.

And for the first time in quite some time, I didn't beat myself up for missing an event that I had planned (even if loosely) to attend.  I wake up this Monday morning feeling satisfied over the amount of chores completed and the balance of fun and relaxation achieved this weekend.

The season has just begun and there are many fairs on the horizon. Some I will make. Some, I won't.

And it shall be fine. There is always a plan B (or C, D, etc. ) I must continue to embrace the moment, listen to my body, and take special care.

Happy Monday All.

#MicroBlog Monday   click the link for more.

Then There is That

A few days ago I read a blog post that got me thinking about when a friend suddenly and without explanation became a former friend. I recall being hurt by the silence. I reflected on continuing to be hurt by that silence. It brings to mind my father's silence for so many years of our existence. There was even a time when he came to town without nary a word to me. I found out after the fact that he had been so physically close, yet

didn't have time.

I don't have many pen pals (I wish there were more) but of those, while I may be disappointed if they were to come to town without notice or time to meet, I don't think I'd been mortally wounded or moved to terminate a relationship that I presume, as penpals is at least cordial and companionable.

There is still no clue as to why the former friend froze me out of her life. Even if it hurt, I would prefer knowing why. My father did (eventually) explain why we couldn't meet during his trip. I didn't buy it then, but I recall appreciating the effort. That effort led to our being able to bridge our gap before he died.

A few days ago I read a blog post that got me thinking . . .    letters

#MicroBlog Monday ::more, ya heard?::

Seventy - Six

My mom would have been 76 today. Of all the posts 

celebrating her birthday since she died, the first  

one said what I need most today. 

TidBits

*

#The biggest challenge in turning over this new leaf toward healthier eating, has been the impulse to lean into easy (lazy) behaviors. It is much too convenient to pick up a bag of chips, a couple of cookies, a candy bar, the dreaded quick service or something out of a box. Planning and prepping: impulse busters

#Several of my co-workers snack on sunflower seeds (with the shells). None, I  believe, eat the shells. They all seem to build mounds of sucked on shells, leaving them on their desks (resting on a dish or paaper towels) until the mound is dumped in the trash. Some, must take sunflower seeds into the bathroom. I never expected to see a sucked on shell in the bathroom, not in the trash.  

#It apears that unnatural hair colors are trending. Pinks. Blues. Magentas. Folks dyeing their hair from the box of 64 crayons, buying pieces, weaves, and wigs, that widen the spectrum even further. A couple of fellow commuters "had words" over expression of this trend. He said she had Now and Later hair. She wasn't as upset over the specific critque as she was over his nastiness in expressing his opinion.

#My mom's birthday is Thursday. I'm trying really hard to lift up the cheer-filled, happier moments. Feeling fairly confident that the effort was going to prove exhausting, I've already requested Friday off. Now, to just get through the 4 days . . .

#We had two (count them, two) days with temps touching 70 and the sun being our friend. Yay!


*don't mind the date on the photo--different camera, didn't reset--photo taken Sunday morning.  

#MicroBlogMonday click the link for more. :-) 

Ready, Set, Go! Again.

I am knee deep in endeavoring to keep more weight away from my waist (and hips, and arms, and . .well, all of me.) But even more, I am endeavoring to improve my my overall health; that entails eating healthier, exercising regularly, and not crossing the street against the light or other not so prudent acts that may result in massive head trauma or broken bones.

I've been down this road before. I've been successful before. I am trusting that I can be successful again. But, more than reaching a weight loss goal, or achieving multiple (consecutive) days of healthful eating and hitting exercise targets, I am looking to achieve a lifestyle shift toward a health-filled existence.

Every journey begins with a step. I celebrate the steps taken to date, and the steps yet to come.

#MicroBlogMonday. (click the link to see, read more)    

Flashbacks

My Grandma "Big Mama" (w/my kids) 

My Grandmother (w/my dad) 

My mom (with my daughter) 

As you may imagine, yesterday was a bitter to sweet kind of day.  I spent much of the day alone (well, the dog and cats were about, but you get my drift) and as often happens when I'm with myself my mind flashes to times, past and present, good and bad.

Through music, FB tributes, other blogs, my scrapbooks of notes and photos, I walked through our histories, my memories. I am because they were. I miss them, I love them. I am grateful to have been and to remain part of them and to have them with me, now and forevermore.

#MicroBlogMonday 

May We Go All The Way

No cook, mason jar oatmeal.                      

Four years ago I had a girlfriend. Weird to be saying girlfriend in my mid-fifties, (well, I wasn't mid at the time) but still . . .   that's what we were, girlfriends. And April per FB memories was our signature month. She shared and spoke with me much four years ago April  Not to long beyond April she stopped talking and eventually, broke up with me. But, I am veering off track. The track being: healthy eating. My good friend over at 8th Day proposes a community challenge of small changes to daily eating that will hopefully lead to lasting changes toward eating healthily.

Some of the small changes referenced in the post  are changes that I'd already adopted on some level but I have not been consistent to the discipline. Thus, I am joining the challenge. One of my hurdles is having healthier options readily available. Which brings me back to the girlfriend.

Four years ago she shared a no cook, mason jar oatmeal recipes link.I bookmarked the link but had not ever gotten around to trying any of the recipes. Then, we broke up, life took a turn toward death, grief, unemployment, and . . . well, suffice to say, I forgot all about living healthily let alone, no cook mason jar oatmeal.

If not for the "On This Day" FB feature no cook, mason jar oatmeal would have remained forgotten. Now, however, I am anxious to pick up the supplies and ingredients needed to make several days worth. I am already doing smoothies a couple of days a week, oatmeal in a more traditional serving method for a couple others. Breakfast done healthier is rolling along fairly well. The no cook, mason jar oatmeal will help mightily.

Lunch and Dinner need much more work. In preparation of the challenge, my grocery list included more fruit and vegetables. My week one challenge is to include at least one vegetable with both lunch and dinner this week.  

In addition to taking on the May Healthier Eating Challenge, May is also National Bike Month. My hope is

that weather permitting Melody and I are rolling more and more hours this month. April has been dismally wet and cold. Not at all conducive to Melody trips. Here's to taking a lasting turn toward sustainable lifestyle changes and healthier living. Thank you to FB for prompting a memory. Though the relationship ran aground, I am happy for having had the experience. I remember much of our time together fondly, now.

#healthier eating challenge week 1 

Leap, Circle and Yearn

Last year PBS Newshour presented a segment with musician Rob Kapilow speaking  

to why the song is so good. He makes a good point, I guess. . 

All I know is I love the film. I ♥ this song. 

Music is life. 

A Week in Pictures

 The nature challenge mentioned last week in this space resulted in the posting of these ten photos (3 for day seven). The first, taken the day after the challenge was issued, is a neighboring yard. The house behind the yard is empty and I believe, has been for some time. One of the things I love most about Spring is the surprise blooms of perennials in gardens of all shapes.

Day Two, you've seen before 

    

 Day Three, a neighbors Mum display from Fall 2015. 

Day 4.  Call of the Not So Wild 

Day 5. One of the Amazing Local Parks 

Day 6 HI Fall 

Day 7 (1) Winter, not Blah 

Day 7 (2) Summer Bloom 

Day 7 (3) Array of Fall Colors 

Day 7 (4) Spring Bling

Some of these pics are from archived shots, a couple are new with the challenge in mind. A good friend who accepted my nomination, said on her 7th day posting,

"I opened my eyes to new things this week ... noticed such beauty that I wouldn't usually take notice of."  I had a similar kind of reaction. I am a fairly observant person. But, what I noticed most during this challenge, was a concerted effort to observe differently. I walked down the same blocks, but on the other side of the street, for instance. I look forward to exploring with my camera in hand, to see if what I see, is what I document. :-) 

#MicroBlogMonday 

Forever Purple

GobsmackeD

There are words, so many thoughts swimming around in my head but they won't release. 

Not now. 

RIP Prince Rogers Nelson   

Nature for Seven Days

A friend was nominated a friend for a FB exercise; post a nature pic for the next seven days and nominate a friend to do the same. Should the nominated friend  take up the exercise, they are to nominate a friend, and so on and so on. 

Thus, I'm participating in a FB exercise to post a nature pic for seven days. The above photo is day two of the exercise. I posted this: The beauty and majesty of trees make me swoon. Over the next few days there may be more trees. with the photo. 

Looking through my current stock of nature photos, I observed that many include buildings. Well, I do live in a very urban area. But, even as I've traveled to or through scenic areas, the photos tend to include people, animals, or buildings--making those things the focus--over the scenery. 

Observation: a focus shift may be in the works. 

#MicroblogMonday   
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Sun, Stay

Welcome to Friday. 

Friends, Family, Framily

This song emerges from my memories often. A hit, in my 

daughter's birth year (a remake of a previous version 

recorded in my son's birth year) it was one of my 

mom's favorites.  It has taken on a newer life for 

me in recent years. Thank you, Friends. ♥ 

F*cking B*tch, Get A Life

Ian L / Public Domain 

Sunday, March 27, 2016. Otherwise identified as "Easter Sunday" began like any other Sunday. It was laundry day for the Middle Girl ladies. We decided to cab it over using the car share option. Since we only had the laundry run, a cab made more cents financially.

The cab ride and transaction to the laundry mat was more-or-less uneventful. The driver friendly and efficient enough. The return driver was huffy from the start. He went from huffy to out-and out belligerent when I asked to used the credit / debit card swipe and nasty when I passed on adding a tip.

"Don't you have 7 dollars?" "Why don't you take a bus?" He huffed and puffed about the expense of the credit / debit option. There was a bit of back and forth. (read: not a discussion. think: yelling match)
As he was pulling off he yelled into the still of this Easter Sunday morning, "F*ck you, you f*cking b*tch! Get A Life!" 

Get. A. Life. . .   Here I thought breathing, walking, talking, working, mothering a son and daughter, nurturing pets, volunteering, writing, drawing, and a bunch of other stuff was me having a life. It isn't? If not, then what is?

I do so love laundry day. 

Waiting Can Be Trying

not a product endorsement. just cute as heck. 

That is all. For now.